My short story

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My short story

Postby Dinonerd » Fri Mar 30, 2007 6:24 am

This is my short story i have done for an english assignment... It is only a small assignment, basically just homework, but here it is... ENJOY!


A Lonely Road


A Rustle... A snap of a twig... A foggy night. I looked to my right, my eyes darting. Nothing. I continued to walk and froze at the sound of an owl, i knew it was an owl but i still was frightened. The moon perched high in the sky glowing a white colour. The road was dark and the forest on either side thick. *Rustle* There it was again... I froze and heard my heart beating. The night was uneasily quiet, this factor made me even more frightened.

The fog low around my ankles, the damp ground under my feet. My senses were acute because of my fear. *Rustle* My heart was pounding, i thought that whatever was out there would hear it. I stepped lightly moving along the straight road. I could still hear my heart pounding, pounding, pounding like a hammer on metal.

The night grew darker and the moon was now above my head, it was illuminating giving the night a dull feel. A bird screeched and it made me jump in the air like an acrobat. *Rustle* There it was again! What was making that sound?

My eyes stared forward at the road, I saw a figure moving slowly towards me in the fog... I had to gasp for breath with fright. My mind was racing as the figure slowly moved closer. It was a man, i tried to speak to him but was too frightened that the words didn't come out. There was something wrong with him... My eyes widened with fear when I realised it... The man, he was, he was see through...

END

Notice how i said see through? i said that because some people may not know what translucent or transparent mean.
Last edited by Dinonerd on Fri Mar 30, 2007 8:52 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby Doc 42 » Fri Mar 30, 2007 4:12 pm

What did the "see through" man do? Did he slaughter you mercilysly with a stick? Did he hang you from a tree and break your shins so if you got down you couldnt stand up?
So many questions.....
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Postby TyrannoTitan » Fri Mar 30, 2007 8:00 pm

I like it....But I think this should be in Fan Fiction. I'm not sure though. I'll let KP decide.
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Postby The Kingpin » Fri Mar 30, 2007 8:34 pm

Very good. i could picture the scene perfectly. i say, Fan-Fiction. it's not based on any movie, book, game or anything else, but it's written artwork, so it should go in Fan-fiction. im actually trying to think up a new name for that catagory to better suit it...
"Ah yes, organised chaos. the sign of a clever but ever-busy mind. To the perpetrator, a carefully woven web of belongings and intrigue, but to the bystander? Madness!"
–William Beckett, Lore of Leyuna RPG

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Postby Doc 42 » Fri Mar 30, 2007 8:44 pm

What about amature writers courner? BTW as kp said, you discribed the scene well. You should have two catagorys, one for eassys, and short storys, other for fan-fics
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Postby Dinonerd » Fri Mar 30, 2007 8:45 pm

The reason i don't add what the 'see through' man did to him in it is because short stories are meant to end in a climax. e.g this is in edgar allen poe's short story the tell tale heart and it ends with a climax:

"Villains!" I shrieked, "dissemble no more! I admit the deed! -- tear up the planks! -- here, here! -- it is the beating of his hideous heart!" (That is the last sentance)
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Postby TyrannoTitan » Fri Mar 30, 2007 8:46 pm

Ok, moving...
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Postby Doc 42 » Fri Mar 30, 2007 9:06 pm

Well I suppose thats as good a reason as any. lol the simpsons had tell tale heart in it once.
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Postby Dinonerd » Mon Apr 23, 2007 10:19 am

I had added another paragraph but i will post that up soon.
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