The black tar is back.

Have you got a game, book or movie you'd like to make a story out of? Want to expand on a story or plot that stopped? Have an original idea for a story that you want to post somewhere? Here's where to do it. Basically an RPG where one player controls ALL characters in the story.

The black tar is back.

Postby Nemisb1002 » Sun May 27, 2007 12:08 am

After spider man defeted venom, it slid away, leting spidey kill Edey brock. The next day, spidey found the black like-tar again, but it was more powerful than ever, so he acepted the ofer but he new that after a while, he would take it of. Harry dided by the glider he was on. Peter, found some mor tar, but this one was red. So he drove home, to have a look at the new tar. It was a bit the same, but a bit diferent. Peter put it in a jar, hoping it would not come out. But it did. Since spidey was in the black sute, it came on to him, giving him more power and it was now black and red tar. Spidey had more power to fight but it tried to take over even more now. Spidey was about to fight a rino man but the plice stoped him from doing it. He did not have to fight, he just webed away, leaving the rino to New-yourks finghest.
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Postby TyrantTR » Tue May 29, 2007 1:45 am

This... was... POOR...

I hope KP doesn't blast me down for this but being a spiderman fan, and even bigger Venom fan, I must intervene. It isn't tar. It's a symbiote. Before you watch the movies read the comics, so it can shatter your hopes for the movie and throw em out the window. Learn how to spell. I's Eddie Brock. Explain more. Why was the black suit stronger? What was the red symbiote their for, and why? A rhino man? Where did that come from. This plot has more holes than swiss cheese. And why the heck would Peter Parker just ACCEPT the symbiote again after what happened the first time. If you remember from the pitiful movie, witch is probably the only reason you know about this, it wasn't exactly a cheery picking getting the suit off. Gosh, this was, no offense, absolutely horrible.
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Postby The Kingpin » Tue May 29, 2007 6:19 am

well, had you not pointed out what was bad with it, i would've punished you for it. but what your doing is called Constructive Criticism. and it's something i agree with. spelling is poor, facts are incorrect, and it isnt long enough. furthermore, few people seem to understand that Fan-Fiction is supposed to be a long story. like 5-10 pages minimum, and going on as long as the author wants, as long as it remains high quality. this one is, to be quite honest, quite a poor story when Fan-Fiction is counted. this "fan-fic" sounds more like a brief history post in an RPG...
"Ah yes, organised chaos. the sign of a clever but ever-busy mind. To the perpetrator, a carefully woven web of belongings and intrigue, but to the bystander? Madness!"
–William Beckett, Lore of Leyuna RPG

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