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Traitor

PostPosted: Sun May 27, 2007 1:02 am
by Stallordasaurus Rex
Chapter 1
Mutantfied

"Oh boy" Dr. Wu said,putting a juvenile female rex to sleep. The juvenile started to calm down,eyes getting droopy. "There we go. Now...Hurry and start before she wakes up. Every second counts!"
The scientists started to work,testing their chemicals on the rex. The rex started to change colors,from Grey with Black stripes, to a dark green color.Her stripes stayed black. "The colour effect is working" One of the scientists,Richard, said quitely. "Now test the others"

A few hours later, the tests were done. Suddenly, they could hear the distant boom of something big coming closer. "Hurry. Get her outside!" The scientists lifte the juvenile and released it outside. The juvenile barked, running into the bushes to greet her mother. As the juvenile came out of the bushes into a clearing,her mother stood there. She barked with joy and ran over to her mom. They nuzzled. "I was worried sick,Darkstorm" She growled,then her eyes went wide. "Your skin. It has changed color"
Darkstorm barked in surprise, she went over to a puddle and looked at her reflection. She did look different! She was now a really dark green mixed with blue with blacks stripes. She looked up at her mother. "How..."
"Humans did this to you" Mother growled in annoyance. She then turned around back to the direction of the plains. "Come,Darkstorm. Its about to rain" The two rexs headed into the plains,towards their nest.

(Yea, I gave you guys Traitor's real name. I'll tell you how she got the name Traitor later in the fanfic)

PostPosted: Sun May 27, 2007 1:40 am
by C S
you know, that was kinda sad, his mother diied so painfully, like al only worse, whoop, went ahead

PostPosted: Sun May 27, 2007 2:57 pm
by The Kingpin
move the second chapter to the first post. READ THE FAN-FICTION RULES BEFORE MAKING A FAN-FICTION!!!

PostPosted: Sun May 27, 2007 2:58 pm
by Stallordasaurus Rex
Whoops...sorry Master Kingpin...

PostPosted: Sun May 27, 2007 2:59 pm
by The Kingpin
wow...since when am I a "Master"? im just enforcing the site's rules...aint nothin personal. just business...

PostPosted: Sun Jun 10, 2007 10:37 pm
by C S
hey kp, you should put crusher as your rank instead of t he dragon.


on topic: I rally want to read chapter 3

PostPosted: Mon Jun 11, 2007 12:06 am
by Stallordasaurus Rex
Don't worry Compy I'm almost done writing it out :D

PostPosted: Mon Jun 11, 2007 6:21 pm
by Iceking
the third chaper will be about al's second day of life, i assume.

PostPosted: Wed Jun 27, 2007 12:54 am
by Stallordasaurus Rex
Chapter 4 is up!!

PostPosted: Wed Jun 27, 2007 12:57 am
by TyrannoTitan
Cool.

PostPosted: Fri Jun 29, 2007 11:54 pm
by Stallordasaurus Rex
Chapter 5!!

PostPosted: Sat Jun 30, 2007 12:12 am
by C S
this, is good. what happens to al?!

PostPosted: Sat Jun 30, 2007 12:23 am
by Stallordasaurus Rex
You'll see :twisted: <--- That smiley means nothing!

PostPosted: Sat Jun 30, 2007 12:43 pm
by TyrannoTitan
Very Interesting to read.

PostPosted: Mon Jul 02, 2007 5:19 am
by TyrantTR
Wow...

This...

Isn't really that good. The chapters, are more like a few sentences that anyone could whip up in a few minutes. Big Al? This isn't even related to Big Al, the least you could do is give it an original name. Like most RPG's these days I can't get a feel for the character, you need to tell us more about young Al, and less about his hunger. Enviormental detail would be apreciated too.

Note: This isn't ment as an insult so sorry if you take it as one, I'm just being a critic, in the cruel kind of way.

PostPosted: Mon Jul 09, 2007 12:07 pm
by Proceratosaurus
An egg lays in a nest. A female Allosaurus nuzzles it. A small Allosaurus hatches from the egg. The female nuzzles it and feeds it a lizard she recently caught.The young Allosaurus eats it and the mother walks away, The youngster follows.
THe mother walks along the forest floor. All of a sudden a lightning bolt strikes a tree and fire spreads all over.THe mother roars and runs away, The youngster tries to keep up.


Aww thats cute ^-^

The mother is caught in a circle of fire. She roars for her infant. The young allosaur screeches for his mother. The mother's roar last until the fire closes in on her and she is burned to ashes.


:cry: That part is so very sad