JAWS: The Untold 2:(cancled)

Have you got a game, book or movie you'd like to make a story out of? Want to expand on a story or plot that stopped? Have an original idea for a story that you want to post somewhere? Here's where to do it. Basically an RPG where one player controls ALL characters in the story.

How do like the sequel so far?

Terrible
0
No votes
not bad
1
13%
it's OK, but it could be better
4
50%
It's perfect! like Jaws 2 but actually a fitting sequel!
3
38%
 
Total votes : 8

JAWS: The Untold 2:(cancled)

Postby C S » Mon Jun 25, 2007 3:35 am

A shark swims disturbingly through the water towards the beach. It powers through, It's sights set on on a target, a human target.... It's fin peirces the water, it's skin glistening in the sun. As it enters the shallows, a bystander yells Shark! With a burst of speed, Nick Brody runs onto the beach. He shoots the shark and yells to his assistant, Sampson to call the tour boats back to the shore. His son was on a boat and Nick saw what a shark could do to a boat close up. Shark! There's a Shark! GET BACK TO THE HARBOR! Sampson yelled intothe tour boat guidence radio. Nick shot the shark continueously until he shot the sharks left eye. It then hit Nick, This is the same shark that attacked last year! He noticed tha the shark was burnt inside it's mouth. He saw the jumper cables that was suposed to kill it, hanging from it's jaws. The shark swam back out to the ocean around the island...this would be the beginning...of a period of terror.

Chapter 2

The same shark is back!? yelled the mayor. He was pacing around his desk and bitting his finger nails. This shark cost me thousands last year! You need to kill it, and fast. He said. I can't garuntee that! That thing is gone! You saw what it could do! What if what we saw before was just it warming up? What can this thing really do?! Nick yelled. I don't know! The mayor yelled back, a slight hint of fear in his voice. We can try to catch- Nick said before he was interupted. Didn't you say you electricuted it? The mayor asked. 2 hours later, a marine bioligist comes up to a conclusion. The shark was only stunned, judging by the voltage of the generater. Wait, if a shark can't move, it cant live right ? Nick asked. The bioligist responded. yes So, it should be dead, unless this is some sort of, demon shark Nick said. Well, the shark may have sank head first, letting the shark to breath on its way down until it managed to regain councienceness. The bioligist responded But why a year after it would come back? Nick asked. It probably swam out of the waters around amity until he came back for the same reason he came in the first place, the seal population...

Mean while, on the eastern shore of the island, a surfer rides a giant wave. He turns, riding he now collapsing wave. Just before the wave gives out, the surfer is yanked off his board and pulled under the water, blood squirting out of his waist, struggleing until he soon drowns.

Chapter 3..

The mayor yell to Nick. I want you to get all of the best shooters, trackers any body to get this shark. Another person walked in. It was the mayors assistant. Oh good Jimmy. The mayor began. Thank god you're here. So, whats on the schedual? There is no schedual..Jimmy said. What do you mean!? I'm the mayor! I allways have something to do! Jimmy began, You have something to do, just not a schedual. The mayor got into his limo and drove off. He stuck his head through the sun roof. GET THE SHARK! He yelled to Nick. When the mayor got to his destination, He found that a public announcement had been set up. He also saw that the billboard that advertised the islands beaches had been painted on. The billboard had a picture of a swimmer wading in the water, a surfer in the background and a nice summer sun; But it now had a shark fin behind the swimmer and a diolauge box like you see in comics had the words HELP, SHARK! The mayor yelled Get this cleaned up! he muttered under his breath dumb derelicts... He got onto the podium to give his annoucement. As soon as he got on it, he was baraged with questions. ARE YOU GOING TO CLOSE THE BEACHES!!?? DID YOU ARRANGE A SEARCH PARTY!!? WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO TO THE BILLBOARD!!?? The mayor yelled out QUIET! I'll answer you, one question at a time! Now, What is your question he said as he pointed to a reporter to the back of the crowd. The reporter asked, are you going to close the beaches? No, no. There is no need for that. The shark is not much of a threat now because I have my best officers hunting it. Plus, it hasn't attempted to kill anyone. It had probly left the Amity waters completely! The mayor said arogantly. Just then an angry female civillian snapped at the mayor. It HADN'T TRIED TO KILL ANY ONE!? MY SON IS DEAD YOU SON OF A- HEY! The mayor interupted. There is no need for profanity. How did your son die? He asked. He was surfing when that SHARK attacked and bit him in the waiste. The investigator said he was pulled under and drowned. She said. The mayor stepped down and yelled to Jimmy. Take care of this! He walked down and back into his limo.

Mean while Nick and Sampson were on a boat searching for the shark. No one else came with them because they still remebered what the shark did last time they hunted it. Nick looked at the water and remembered a moment from that last battle. He remembered when the shark burst into the boat an grabbed the officer that was with Nick below deck of the boat they used to hunt it. That should have been me Nick mumbled below his breath so sampson wouldn't hear. Nick's phone rang. Hello? Nick asked. Hey dad! It was Jack. He was on the tour boats when the shark returned for it's first attack. Jack asked Dad, why'd you cut the tour short? I was telling every one how you killed that shark last year. Nick said. Jack, prommis me ou won't go into the water, ok? Jack responded Ok, but why? Just don't ok? Nick said. He didn't want to tell Jack about the shark, it might have scared Jack out of the water for the rest of his life. He remebered his grandfather. Jack said Ok dad.

Chapter 4: The mayor fights back...

Jimmy walked into the mayors office. Mr.Mayor, the people are thinking twice of attending the beach celebration you planned. The mayor sighed and paced around his desk until he realized something. That celebration was secret, I didn't tell.....them..... JIMMY! You told them!? I had to! Jimmy yelled They were planning to stop going to the beach completely! I had to get them convinced to go! OH I feel the sting in my wallet already....and its in the ten thousands... The mayor said. He then had an idea. What if we install those nets that keep sharks out? We can also set up watch towers like they're doing in Florida!
A couple of weeks later, The changes to the beach were complete. The shark nets were in place, surrounding the entire island. Docks were enlarged to acomadate the nets. The watch towers were on every beach. This would certainly get the pblic back into the water.......

Chapter 5: Blood on the beach....Through the eyes of the beast..

My idea is working perfectly! There is no sight of thaty shark! People in the water, money income is booming now! The mayor said. It was the fourth of July. An officer carrying a box of fire works said. This is the best celebration! How much longer until we pop these babys? 10 minutes The mayor said. Mean while Nick was with Jack. Jack, remember, don't go into the water- I know you don't want me in the water because of a shark, but the mayor made shark nets all over the island, it's safe. Jack said. Under the blue-green hue of the water, you are consealed. there is no way you can be seen. You swim, attracted to the noise in the water. You swim, eagerly you go faster, faster an faster. You soon reralise that there is a net around the noises. You begin to swim out to sea, then you bolt into the net. The wooden suports snap, on the shore, it seems as if part of the net fell into the water. It isn't that alarming because the net seemed to still be up, little do the people know, it is only floating on the water. You swim slowly, trying to pick out a target. You turn over to your side and clamp on a swimmers leg and you pull it out to sea. On the shore, people yell What's happening!? The swimmer is pulled under the water and the blue green, turns into red. AHHH!!!!! GOD!!!! people yell. The swimmers are swimming to shore, one swimmer how ever is a target. You slam your head out of the water and open your jaws. You clamp down on the swimmer, snapping its spine. You swallow the dead swimmer then snap at another swimmer. On land, Nick grabs his radio and calls in back up. He runs past the pack of fire works but then he runs back. He took a rocket and grabbed lighter that was inside and lit it. Nick let go of the rocket before it burst out to the shark. It hit the shark as it exploded into many colors. Nick thought it was finally dead, only to find that the shark had dived before the explosion and the only noticable damage was a burnt dorsal fin...

Chapter 6:Expulsion from the water.

Jack was in his room crying. He closed the window and pulled down the blinds. His room had a close up view of the ocean and the beach but now he didn't want to see the two. Jack? Nick said as he walked up the stairs. He heard Jack crying and thought I wish I told him why I didn't want him in the water. Maybe he would've taken the last attack better. Nick decided to leave Jack alone and he went down stairs. He picked up a photo of his wife, Janet Brody. She had long Blonde hair. In the photo graph, She had a yellow hooded rain coat with white buttons. She also had blue jeans on. She had gone on a shark research trip to study Great White Shark Territoriality. He had an idea and called his wife.

What do you mean ANOTHER shark is back?! And this is the 3rd attackl? Janet yelled.

It isn't another shark, It's the same one from last year. It survived electrocution. Nick said.

How?
She asked intrigued.

It's along story.
He replied
So what are some of your discoveries so far? He continued.

I have a theory that a shark, in some rare events, live long enough to hunt and feed off of many different types of prey, Seal, whale carcasses, etceterra. It gets so accustomed to killing that it goes into a state of arrogance, as arrogant as sharks can go..., and thinks it can go and kill any creature that lives or happens to be in the vicinity of it. She said

This means that the shark would try and kill anything that happens to be in the water around the shark? And these waters happen to be the beaches. Nick siad.

.....Yes...Janet said Hesitantly.

Hows Jack doing? She asked.

He's in his room crying, the attack really freaked him out. Nick said.

You probably should go talk to him, bye. Janet said as she hanged up.


Chapter 7:The hunt begains....

Nick said to a fisherman You dealt with a shark like this before? The fisherman said Depends, how big? About 25ft Nick replied as he grabbed his hand gun and put in bullets in it. What would you say if I came with you to hunt down the shark. The town council will pay you as much money as you want. Nick said. As much money eh? $10,000
The fisherman said as he grabbed a rope and threw it onto the dock. Nick said Done, but your not getting paid if we don't get the shark, but no need to worry, I heard you were the best.....
Last edited by C S on Mon Dec 22, 2008 6:07 pm, edited 13 times in total.
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Postby TyrannoTitan » Mon Jun 25, 2007 1:25 pm

Good.

I was waiting for you to make another Jaws Story.
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Postby C S » Mon Jun 25, 2007 6:21 pm

guess i delivered
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Postby Iceking » Mon Jun 25, 2007 7:35 pm

very good. when will chapter two be up?
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Postby TyrannoTitan » Mon Jun 25, 2007 7:46 pm

Ya, I can't wait to read more.
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Postby TyrantTR » Mon Jun 25, 2007 8:06 pm

It's okay, I wish there was a bit more character development and discription before the actual shark was talked about.
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Postby TyrannoTitan » Mon Jun 25, 2007 8:12 pm

I just like the killing... :lol:
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Postby C S » Mon Jun 25, 2007 8:52 pm

ttr, you should read the first one before this one. it will be more clear about the characters. I'm going to wait until i write chapter 2 to torture you all.... HSHAHJAHAHAHAHAH! ok, real answer, today or tomorrow
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Postby TyrantTR » Mon Jun 25, 2007 9:13 pm

I read the first one, but I find it better if in the sequals you add a bit more to keep people on edge, besides, the characters are still there. Therfore so should there character development.
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Postby C S » Mon Jun 25, 2007 9:22 pm

thanks for the critism
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Postby TyrannoTitan » Mon Jun 25, 2007 9:33 pm

Cool, can't wait.
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Postby The Kingpin » Tue Jun 26, 2007 8:35 am

not bad, but as TTR said, it would be better with some character development. though the ideas shown in this one really do make you think, and they do make sense, so the story of the shark is fairly clear and well thought out. but the characters themselves need more work. some family life, some thinking scenes where the characters are thinking of possible ways to deal with it, and with the mayor, ways to keep it cheap and as low key as possible to avoid scaring the tourists...

otherwise, very good...
"Ah yes, organised chaos. the sign of a clever but ever-busy mind. To the perpetrator, a carefully woven web of belongings and intrigue, but to the bystander? Madness!"
–William Beckett, Lore of Leyuna RPG

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Postby Iceking » Tue Jun 26, 2007 11:52 am

i like chapter 2 just as well as the first. nice conclusion on how the shark survived electrocution.
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Postby TyrannoTitan » Tue Jun 26, 2007 2:49 pm

I like these new chapters as well. Keep it comin.
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Postby TyrantTR » Tue Jun 26, 2007 4:57 pm

Better, but if you remembr, Jaws, both movie and book, wasn't just about the shark. It was how the family dealt with it. They were scared, beacause their husband knew what was happening and the mayor didn't lisson, thus resulting in all of the attacks. In this, I see mostly shark attacks, sprinkled with a few family conversations, and a good paragraph on the mayor dealing with the press. But I will give you props on how you figured out how the shark survived. Bravo, that was cleaver.
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Postby Iceking » Wed Jul 04, 2007 5:39 pm

can't wait for chapter 5.
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Postby C S » Wed Aug 01, 2007 1:12 am

hant updated in a while, Chapter 5, 6 and 7 are up.
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