Halloween Survival Guide.

Have you got a game, book or movie you'd like to make a story out of? Want to expand on a story or plot that stopped? Have an original idea for a story that you want to post somewhere? Here's where to do it. Basically an RPG where one player controls ALL characters in the story.

Halloween Survival Guide.

Postby Tediz » Tue Oct 27, 2009 2:29 am

Well! Halloween's coming up... I don't know if you guys celebrate it still, but I do. So! I decided to help you all try and survive this night of terror. Please, do not take any of these words for granted.

~Guidelines of Halloween~

1. When it appears that you have killed the monster, NEVER check to see if it's really dead.
2. Never read a book of Demon Summoning aloud, even as a joke.
3. Do not search the basement, especially if the power has gone out.
4. If children speak to you in Latin or any other language, which they should not know, shoot them immediately. It will save you a lot of grief in the long run. However, it will probably take several rounds to kill them, so be prepared. This also applies to kids whose eyes glow and speak with somebody else's voice.
5. When you have the benefit of numbers, NEVER pair off and go alone.
6. As a general rule, don't solve puzzles that open portals to Hell.
7. Never stand in, on, or above a grave, tomb, or crypt. This would apply to any other house of the dead as well.
8. If you're searching for something that caused a loud noise and find out that it's just the cat, GET THE HELL OUT!
9. If appliances start operating by themselves, do not check for short circuits; just get out!
10. Do not take ANYTHING from the dead.
11. If you find a town which looks deserted, there's probably a good reason for it. Don't stop and look around.
12. Don't fool with recombinant DNA technology unless you're sure you know what you're doing.
13. If you're running from the monster, expect to trip or fall down at least twice, more if you are of the female persuasion. Also note that, despite the fact that you are running and the monster is merely shambling along, it's still moving fast enough to catch up with you.
14. If your companions suddenly begin to exhibit uncharacteristic behavior such as hissing, fascination for blood, glowing eyes, increasing hairiness, and so on, kill them immediately.
15. Stay away from certain geographical locations, some of which are listed here: Amityville, Elm Street, Transylvania, the Bermuda Triangle, or any small town in Maine.
16. If your car runs out of gas at night on a lonely road, do not go to the nearby deserted-looking house to phone for help. If you think that it is strange you ran out of gas because you thought you had most of a tank, shoot yourself instead. You are going to die anyway, and most likely be eaten.
17. Beware of strangers bearing strange tools. For example: chainsaws, staple guns, hedge trimmers, electric carving knives, combines, lawnmowers, butane torches, soldering irons, band saws, or any devices made from deceased companions. (or chipper/shredders, remember Fargo).
18. If you find that your house is built upon a cemetery, now is the time to move in with the in-laws. This also applies to houses that had previous inhabitants who went mad or committed suicide or died in some horrible fashion, or had inhabitants who performed satanic practices in your house.
19. If your parents move you to a town where you find out the high school gym burnt down during Prom night, or hear that a maniac gets loose from a sanitarium every Halloween, then it's time to run away!
20. When trick-or-treating and you come to a house made of gingerbread and gum drops...RUN!! RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!!!


~Rules of Halloween~

THIS IS NO JOKE.

Rule # 1. Please, for the love of God, DO NOT extinguish the flame in your Pumpkin before midnight. I'm serious dude, really. Freaky **** happens to people who do that.

Rule # 2. If a bunch of little kid's come up and ask for candy, give them some candy. If you're out of candy, tell them nicely. Don't say something rude to them. Want to know why? Cuz they'll sprout ******* wings and eat you. Duh.

Rule # 3. The absolute most important rule of all. If you see Sam, stop. Whatever it is you're doing, stop it right there. Check your costume, check your bags, check your Jack-O-Lantern, check every single thing you are doing. If you're sure that you're doing everything correctly, you may continue. But if you see him, you make damned sure you're looking at him, and not the other way around. Unless he's approving you.

~Know your Allies and your Enemies~

You have many, many enemies. Some wish to kill you, some simply wish to join in the Halloween festivities. Ghosts, Goblins, Ghouls, Werewolves, Vampires, freaky little toothy things that you're never quite sure what the **** it is cuz it never dies, all of these and more. If you're lucky, they'll ignore you. That means they're no longer your Enemies. Perhaps you've pleased them with your Halloween-ness. Perhaps they just don't think you look tasty. Either way, enemies or not, they are NOT your Allies.

You only have one Ally, who unfortunately, can also be your enemy. Sam. Sam, sam, sam. On Halloween night, either the worst, or the very best thing that's ever going to happen to you.

What is Sam? Hell if I know. Sam is the Spirit of Halloween. Sam is what makes sure everything is going right. If you find yourself trapped in a corridor surrounded by monsters who are fixing to eat you, call for Sam's help.

If he thinks you're doing everything right this Halloween, he'll gladly help you. If not, he'll probably just sit there and watch the monsters eat you.

Sam may not look very dangerous, but make no mistake. Sam will kill you with a ******* Popsicle.

Just don't piss him off.

This is Sam. Pray you never see him up close. Unless you're in a costume of course, that is.

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Final Note: I haven't been here for so long I can't remember all of the rules, but I looked around before I posted this and saw that other people used the same curse words I did. So I apologize if this is inappropriate, but I'm pretty sure I didn't say anything terribly bad.
Be not forgetful to entertain strangers; for thereby some have entertained angels unawares - Hebrews 13:2
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Postby HorseGal » Tue Oct 27, 2009 2:50 am

That was a nice read. XD
I'll be sure to follow those tips on Halloween if I ever go out. :P
Happy Halloween!
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"There is more day to dawn. The sun is but a morning star." -Henry Thoreau
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Postby Doc 42 » Tue Oct 27, 2009 10:24 pm

Funnily enough, if you replace monsters with scumbags and sam with the Gardaí, you have the perfect set of rules for Halloween in Ireland :P
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Postby Godzilla Forever » Wed Nov 04, 2009 3:15 pm

LOL, this is like the horror movie survival thread on HSers.........
"If none can know what lies ahead, then losing one's way is just human nature."~ Yoshimitsu

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