ALIENS:The Return

Have you got a game, book or movie you'd like to make a story out of? Want to expand on a story or plot that stopped? Have an original idea for a story that you want to post somewhere? Here's where to do it. Basically an RPG where one player controls ALL characters in the story.

ALIENS:The Return

Postby LV-426 » Sat Nov 07, 2009 7:24 pm

Summary: It has been a month since Ripley,Newt, Hicks, Bishop, Vasquez and Hudson have returned to earth from LV-426. Their lifes forever changed by the events that occured there, when they find out the nightmare isn't over it has just begun.

Chapter 1: Hudson

Hudson looked on in horror as Frost was engulfed in fire and fell down the stair well. Time stood still as the flames detonated the ammunition bag sending Crowe and Wierzbowski flying in diffrent directions. " Lets Rock!" Vasquez yelled as she fired her smart gun wildly in the air. Hudson could see apone yelling at Vasquez to hold her fire before the aliens dragged him away. Hudson began to panic, this couldn't be happening , " They're coming outta the goddamn walls!" he yelled as he pulled back with Drake and Vasquez. He then heard a hiss behind him and looked in time to see an alien leap on him. It pinned him against the wall and began to open its mouth revealing its sharp tononge. He tried to scream but to his horror no sound came from his mouth. He awoke screaming sweating profusely. He looked over at the digital clock, it read 6am. He let out a sigh of relief and headed to the kitchen in his small apartment. It has been a month since him and the survivors have returned back to earth but the nightmares of the LV-426 incident still haunted him. He took some stress pills when he heard a load knock on the door. He opened it to find himself starring at a very annoyed Vasquez. " Get your *** moving, the bus is coming in 20 minutes to pick us up" she yelled. " Alright you didn't yell senorita" he said in a moking voice as she gave him the death look and returned to her apartment. Vasquez and Hudson had moved into the same apartment complex near the colonial marine base in which they were still stationed, today all the survivors of the hardley's hope massacre were to give a report on what happened. " This should be fun" Hudson muttered to himself.
Last edited by LV-426 on Sun Dec 13, 2009 7:17 pm, edited 6 times in total.
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Postby Doc 42 » Sat Nov 07, 2009 10:50 pm

Good idea, but not long enough. You could have easily described thoughts, emotions, places what not but instead left just the bare bones of plot and dialogue. Fine for a summary or something, but not engaging enough to be the story itself. I'd recommend having another go at that chapter. Put some thought into it and that vanilla ice cream of a paragraph could become a 10 page Super Sunday Delight.
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