The Monkey Paw Game

[raptor titanus3]

granted, but then Brick from borderlands breaks your skull with an exploding punch

I wish for moar krabs

[UndeadRaptor]

Granted, but he explodes upon seeing you and poking you out of curiosity.

I wish I had a magical horn with a monkey paw impaled by it for even more wishes!

[raptor titanus3]

granted but then the evil monkey wants his hand back

I wish for the next two days with the exams go quickly and easily (though I highly doubt that)

[UndeadRaptor]

Granted, but you get stabbed in the eye with a pencil then get lead poisoning and die in class on Tuesday.

I wish thy evil monkey existed no more in this awesome land!

[raptor titanus3]

granted but then louis the *censored* monster beats you up every time you mention a word that starts with p

I wish for *insert wish from random topic here*

[UndeadRaptor]

Granted, but your skiing trip goes horribly wrong where you break your neck and legs.

I wish for a massive cage to lock my enemies in, despite me having nearly no enemies anywhere exept the real world.

[raptor titanus3]

granted but then a freak accident results in all your prisoners escaping and chaos insueing

I can't think up anything at the moment so do what you think would be the most funny way to ruin my day

[UndeadRaptor]

You fall over a garbage can into a sewer and are mauled by alligators in a running river before being spewed out into a monster truck racing course to be ran over.

I wish I had a hack saw incase I was cuffed to a metal pipe so I could cut the chains and run for it during a zombie apocalypse.

[raptor titanus3]

granted but if your tied up how do you cut yourself free

I wish *deep breath* DDDDDDOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMM!

[UndeadRaptor]

Granted, but you're the first to get killed upon the post-apocalypse day. (I could look for something sharp to cut the ropes)

I wish I had an anti-zombie safe house to live my life at in the case of a zombie outbreak.

[raptor titanus3]

granted but as you become the last person on earth you go stir crazy and turn into a zombie hunter

I wish for you to post in RPG e-war about the question I raised to you

[UndeadRaptor]

Granted, but that causes you to go crazy and try taking over the site on that topic.

I wish I was robbing a gunshop right now. (Wait, what good would come from THAT?!?! One gun vs about a million...)

[raptor titanus3]

granted, but you try and rob from the Engineer and his senrty deploys from a hidden compartment in the ceiling

I wish for new e-cons

[UndeadRaptor]

Granted, but the RPGT E-War annihalates them all.

I wish for a wish to make another wish for parts to a wish for a nice pet velociraptor.

[raptor titanus3]

granted, but misfortune befalls each one, more horrible than the last

I wish for... Cake?

[UndeadRaptor]

Granted, but the 'Cake is a Lie!' effect comes into play.

I wish for a pet headcrab that wouldn't attack me or anyone I know (Except you).

[raptor titanus3]

granted, but this headcrab is stupid and attacks you anyway

I wish for valve to reveal the tenth class already (who was he/she and why was he/she cut)

[UndeadRaptor]

Granted, but you explode from the awesomeness that the class would've been.

I wish for... nothing?

[raptor titanus3]

NOT GRANTED you get an explosive punch curtasy of Brick

I wish for exploding fists (nobody dare tell me what to do)

[UndeadRaptor]

Granted, but they literally exploder on impact with something, making you die of blood lossage.

I wish to be a young albertosaur so I can nibble on you and eat you for lunch.