Funny RPG Scenes

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Postby Godzilla Forever » Sun Jan 17, 2010 5:11 am

*Deep in an underground cave*

Blaze: Oh, nooo!!!! I'm stuck in a cave, with no way out!!!! I'm stuck with..... GOTHMOG, of all creatures!!!

Gothmog: HEY!!! why am I always the hated one?!

Blaze: Because you suck, how many times must I tell you?!

Gothmog: Oh, really? How?

Blaze: You can't even hit a Monolith in the E-war, and those things are the size of buildings!!!

Gothmog: So? At least I look cool, unlike you!!!

Blaze: :o How DARE you!!!

*The 2 of them walk away from each other for a while. Blaze finds a chocolate bar and bites into it.*

Blaze: Hmmm..... this tastes kinda funny.

Gothmog: What does?

Blaze: This chocolate bar I found.

Gothmog: Uhh.... dude, that's not a chocolate bar.
"If none can know what lies ahead, then losing one's way is just human nature."~ Yoshimitsu

"Would you hear my desire? To take this foul blade, and use it to blot out the light forever!" ~ Ganondorf
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Postby C S » Fri Feb 19, 2010 8:08 am

*Vicetalon is at the villain convention, on a stage in a soft lit bar scene, spot line shining down on him. He has a mic in hand, a slow show tune played by a band in the background, a take of Down With The Sickness. His flickering eyes are barly visable in the light *

Vicetalon: can you feel that?
oh, sh*t
O-wa-a-a-a-a
O-wa-a-a-a-a

*He bends forward towards those sitting infront of him*

Get up, come on get down with the sickness!
Get up, come on get down with the sickness!
Get up, come on get down with the sickness!
Open up your hate and let it flow into me.
Get up, come on get down with the sickness!
You motha get up, come on get down with the sickness!
You fucka get up, come on get down with the sickness!
Madness is the gift that has been given to me!

*Gaze falls upon someone in the darkened crowd*

I can see inside you, the sickness is rising,
It seems that all that was good has died

*Turns to another face in the shadowed audiance*

Oh, no. The world is a scary place
Now that you've woken up the demon in me.

*Gaze falls to the floor as the spot light dims*
Bobby? Will you give it to me!?
Piano player: Two three four!
*Lights over take the entire bar now*

*He arcs his back as he sings*
O-WA-A-A-A...

Get up, come on get down with the sickness!

*Spine suddenly shoots straight down, pointing down at the audiance with a boney finger, an arm outstretched, flaming white eyes flaring ominously*

You motha get up, come on get down with the sickness!
You f*cker get up, come on get down with the sickness!
Open up your hate and let it flow into me!
Why can't you just f*ck off and die and down with the sickness!
F*CK YOU!!!
I don't need this sh*t and down with the sickness!
You stupid, sadistic, abusive, f*cking wh*re and down with the sickness!
Here it comes!
Get ready to DIE!
Get ready to!-.....diiiiiie

*Applause from the audiance*

*Suddenly dark energy converges around the undead raptor before shooting off in all directions, a wall of black electricity shooting through the bar, destroying the structure its self, the foundation of the building crashing down*

Aircrest: I thought we were here to bring this place down, but he's doing it for us!
CS: I LOVE SHOW TUNES!

( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aBOpk33VlSg is where this was inspired by. It has a pic of a zombie, and Vicetalon is a zombie... it fits =D)
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Postby Hopeflower » Fri Feb 19, 2010 12:33 pm

The REAL reason why Sunstorm was murdered... >.>

.........

The rogue who killed Sunstorm: ...HEY! My - it's - SOMEBODY WILL DIE FOR THIS! *BROOKLYN RAEG*


*Elsewhere*

Sunstorm: Do you know where we're going? o.o

Blazeheart: YES, for the 356th time. -______-'

Sunstorm: So why does everything look the sa -

Blazeheart: *cutting him off* It's a FOREST, moron. EVERYTHING looks the -

Sunstorm: *cutting HIM off* Remember that dead tree we passed an hour ago?

Blazeheart: Yeah, what about it...?

Sunstorm: Say hi and wave, 'cause THERE IT IS. *points*

Blazeheart: *spots the tree* ....Well, f*ck... *facepalm*

Sunstorm: *sigh* We're lo -

The rogue who WILL kill Sunstorm: *butting in* YOU TWO! YOU'LL PAY FOR YOUR THIEVERY!

Blazeheart: SH*T, man, did you steal somebody ELSE'S wallet?!

Sunstorm: O.O Not this time! I swears it!

Blazeheart: You'd better be SURE or I'll -

The...[...f*ck it, can't be bothered...I'm just gonna call him whatever...]: *cutting him off* HAND OVER WHAT YOU TOOK OR FACE MY EGYPTIAN RAEG!

Random cat #42: *pops into existence* Heeey, wasn't it BROOKLYN rage up there?

Blazeheart: O.o Up whe -

The Extremely Pissed Off Cat: *cutting him off AGAIN [Jeez, what is it with this cat and letting him finish a sentence? x.x]* SHADDUP.

Sunstorm: Seriously, up where?

Blazeheart: Dunno...can't be bothered to be curious anymore. This cat's getting on my nerves. Let's just get out of -

The Cat That Just Won't Quit Even When He Really Should: *cutting him off YET AGAIN* RAAAAAEEEEEG! D:< *flies at Sunstorm, limbs flailing*

Sunstorm: OSHIT *gets tackled* D: NOT COOL, MAN! NOT COOL!

Blazeheart: Worry not, brother! I shall save you! *dives forward to help, only to get hit in the head with a rock chucked by another random cat* ...Tuesday is...APPLESAUCE DAY. @_@ *falls over*

Random cat #682: *up a tree, holding more rocks* Don't worry, boss, we got yer back! *thumbs up* *is hit in the head by a coconut falling from the sky* x.x *falls out of tree*


*Brief StarClan interlude! OHBOY! =D*

Loneclaw: *giggles like a maniac*

Shadowstar: *facetree* *facetree* *facetree*

Spottedstar: ...Can I apply for a one-way ticket back to Earth? ^_^'


*Back to the maulings! EVEN MORE JOYNESS!*

Sunstorm: *dying*

Blazeheart: NUUUUU! D:

The Cat Who Just Set Himself Up To Be Killed: And THAT'S WHAT YOU GET when you mess with MY chocolate!

Random cat #82: Uhhh, boss....

The Cat Who Keeps Digging Himself Deeper: WHAT!?

Random cat #682: *suddenly conscious* ....You ate the last of your chocolate yesterday...

The cat Who Is Officially DEAD: Whoops. *looks at Blazeheart, who has started banging his head off a rock in his grief, and at Sunstorm's body* ...Better get outta here. *teleports away*


[....I have no explanation, other than PANCAKES AND SYRUP MAKE FOR HIGHNESS WHEN EATEN EARLY. XDDD]
"Gotta have a little sadness once in a while so you know when the good times come."
"Talent is a pursued interest. In other words, anything that you're willing to practice, you can do." ~ Bob Ross

"The future is always uncertain and painful but it must be lived." ~ Unknown
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Postby C S » Wed Jun 23, 2010 1:21 pm

*In the GDF breifing room*

GDF US Commander: Why was this session called?
GDF Field Commander: Apparently... to contemplate for new mutations
GDF US Commander:....We have mechs up the a*s. If a new mutant appears, we'll sick MAUL on it. If Liger F*cking Zero doesnt work, we'll send REX. And If that doesnt work-
GDF European Commander: Yes yes, we have got the point old chap.
GDF US Commander: Pisses me off. So what, is the meeting over?
GDF European Commander: The mutant in this scenario is one unlike we've ever seen. A monster so powerful that mechs alone will not suceed in defeating.
GDF US Commander: Horse sh*t
GDF Field Commander: Im afraid he's quite right.
GDF US Commander: Woah woah woah woah....woah...what? Your telling me if we sicked Tyvexious on this thing, he wont beat it?
GDF European Commander: Yes.
GDF US Commander: Ok. How about Tyvexious, Maul, Rex, G1, STING-
GDF Field Commander: Nope. Wouldnt work
GDF US Commander: What the sh*t are we dealing with!? Aeonus!?
GDF European Commander: No. A TURTLE MUTANT MONSTER OF DEATH!
GDF US Commander:.....Your f*cking sh*tting me. Is it April fool's again? Im still pissed over what happened last year.
GDF Field Commander: That was a fluke...and no, its not April fools. Infact, its April 2nd.
GDF US Commander: Ah ok, the-
GDF Field Commander and European Commander: April fools!
GDF US Commander: Motherf*ckers. So this really was all bullsh*t?
GDF European Commander: No. The turtle monster is a real threat
GDF US Commander: Since when the hell does Gamera pose a threat to ANYTHING?
GDF Field Commander: Its not Gamera; and I have a plan that might just work
GDF European Commander: Yes old friend?
GDF US Commander:....
GDF Field Commander: We shall build a turtle fence... on every continent. Except Africa... its too late for Africa...maybe Antartica too
GDF US Commander:...Isnt Antartica where the first GD-
*European Commander slaps his hand onto US Commander's mouth*
Mumble mumble mumble muffled mumble!
GDF European Commander: Never talk about the GDF's inner workings. Even if your inside the GDF. You know that. The walls...they have ears...
*Removes hand*
GDF US Commander:....So let me get this straight. You want to build a turtle fence?
European and Field Commander: Build a turtle fence!
GDF US Commander: Build a turtle fence?!
GDF European Commander: Those turtles that were climbing turtles couldnt climb over the turtle fence!
GDF US Commander: Why?!
GDF Field Commander: It was turtle proof!
GDF US Commander: How?!
GDF European commander: It was 3...hundred meters high.
GDF US Commander: We need a radioactive dinosaur fence-
GDF Field Commander: You shall build a turtle fence!
GDF European Commander: And I dont know if a dinosaur can go over a fence or not
GDF US Commander: Or if a giant monster can swim underneath a yacht -.-'
European and Field commander: Build a turtle fence! Build a turtle fence!
GDF US Commander: The more I drink the more this session is making sense! *suddenly pulls out a beer keg and starts chugging*
GDF European Commander: If turtles are becoming monsters we need a defense!
GDF Field Commander: How shall we protect ourselves?!
GDF European Commander: We shall build a turtle fence!

*Someone in a Bowser costume busts into the session chamber...somehow. Subsequently walks behind the US Commander and starts pelvic thrusting *

GDF European Commander: April fools!
GDF Field Commander: Yes, it was all a joke
GDF US Commander: I...Im going...Im going to do...something *hiccup* GET THE F*CK AWAY FROM ME YOU FAT TURTLE SUNNAVABITCH *gets up from chair and starts punching the guy in the costume before tackling him to the ground, where more punching ensues*
Guy in costume: STOP IT STOP IT OH GOD HE'S CRAZY GET HIM OFF
GDF European Commander: Oh balls, he's gone and gotten drunk again. Just like last year.
GDF Field Commander: Why do we keep doing this again?
GDF European Commander:...I havent the foggiest.

(bases on this video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qizNQKzatXA )
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Postby Hopeflower » Mon Jun 28, 2010 11:57 pm

Wraith: Okay...it's time to give Swift his warrior name. Because he's an awesome cat, and...stuff. Words words words and more words.

Robinflight: *sitting next to Swift* You nervous?

Swift: Nope. I don't know about this whole name-changing thing...but Wraith promised I could keep my name at least partly the same, so we'll see how it goes!

Robinflight: ...You have a lot of faith in him. I hope you won't regret it.

Swift: ...What?

Wraith: Swift has many possibilities as a warrior name. I thought long and hard, and I found it hard to settle on just one. So from this moment on...

Swift: *getting more nervous*

Wraith: ....he will be named... *dramatic pause*


*RANDOM STARCLAN INTERLUDE*

Bloodspill: *watching her son's naming ceremony through a random TV-shaped puddle* Don't f*ck this up, Wraith...

Streamflower: You really think he would? You and he are good friends!

Bloodspill: True. But -

Streamflower: Have a little faith! ^_^

TV-shaped puddle: *static* (Wraith's voice) ...he will be named... *static* Swiftshadow/claw/spring/fang/foot/talon!

Bloodspill: ......

Streamflower: ...Um.

Bloodspill: ......

Streamflower: Bloodspill?

Bloodspill: ...If I weren't dead, I'd strangle him.


*BACK IN THE CLAN*

Robinflight: O_o

Wraith: *triumph* :3

Swiftshadow/claw/spring/fang/foot/talon: ....Sometimes I gotta wonder if my mom and he got stoned together...


(This isn't meant to offend - it's all in good fun. XP Inspired by a recent AIM conversation with KP.)
"Gotta have a little sadness once in a while so you know when the good times come."
"Talent is a pursued interest. In other words, anything that you're willing to practice, you can do." ~ Bob Ross

"The future is always uncertain and painful but it must be lived." ~ Unknown
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Postby C S » Thu Jul 29, 2010 7:53 am

WARNING: Adult themes

Hellfire is laying on a branch of a tree in one of NYC's jungle oases. He's just about to doze off, having ate his fill earlier and now looking forward to sleeping under the glow of the sun when...

*Aircrest lands hard on the branch, shaking the timber and jolting Hellfire back to his senses. He shoots onto his feet and his claws are on full display. He relaxes once he realizes its Aircrest... but then takes on an irritated look*

Hellfire:...Didnt you leave...hours ago to take Rose and your sister to find a pack...?

Aircrest:...Wha?

Hellfire:....Your sister and a young velociraptor? You woke me to say you were leaving....and you wake me again hours later. Do I sense a trend here?

Aircrest:...The hell are you talking about? Hehe..I made a pun..anyway. My sister's dead...and why would I help a random youngster? The notion of having hatchlings make me phase out- why the the hell would I agree to help some stranger...find a pack of all things. I mean, sh*t

Hellfire:....Did I dream it all?

Aircrest: Dunno. Proabably. Hey look what I found! *swings an arm about, showing Hellfire a case of beer*

Hellfire: Oh look, human toys...you better have a better reason for ruining my rest than that...

Aircrest: Watch! *sets the case on the branch and takes out one of the beer cans, holding it in his hand infront of Hellfire's snout* I learned how to work them! *Slips a claw on his other hand under the tab and gingerly lifts, the short snap of it opening making Hellfire's head jerk back as if he expected the thing to explode or something* Ya, thats how I acted too!

Hellfire:...K...what else did you find out?

Aircrest:...Thassit so far : /

Hellfire:....So why'd you go through the trouble of finding me and showing me something you dont even know about?!

Aircrest:...I dunno. Well, I kinda do, as tracking Ripper down would be too much work, Blade's probably out trying to get laid by now, and you...well....yeah...

Hellfire: -_-

Aircrest: Nice weather...?

Hellfire: It was raining for hours, the sun's just come out; and its about to go down

Aircrest: *suddenly changing the subject because he knows Hellfire is pissed with him* HEY! Theres stuff in this thing! *shakes can*

Hellfire: Thats nice

Aircrest: You owe me a kill if I drink it

Hellfire: Oh sure, assuming you dont die from drinking the human poison, after all, you dont know what that thing is for, but what do I care, if you want to do something stu-

Aircrest: *Rears his head back and pours beer into his mouth*

Hellfire:...I cant believe you just did that

Aircrest:....

Hellfire: Are you going to spontaneously combust now? If you feel like your going to burst into flames, tell me in advance so I can...you know..get the f*ck away...

Aircrest:.....More

Hellfire:...?

Aircrest: Must have more *Gets another can and opens it, chugging it down soon after*

Hellfire:......................

*A few minutes of binge drinking later*

Aircrest: I-I dont know man...these humans have life figured out...*hiccup*

Hellfire: How do you figure?

Aircrest: Well...my life...? Its...*hiccup*...complete...complete sh*t *hiccup*

Hellfire: Oh really? Try having your wife and hatchlings killed on for size

Aircrest: Thats...thats what I m-mean....drinking some of this stuff makes it all go away....*hiccup*

Hellfire: O-o Really?

Aircrest: Ya...but-but...*hiccup* you should wait a few more minutes...see if Im still-*hic* still alive...

*A few more minutes later*

Hellfire: How're you feeling?

Aircrest: I-I cant walk straight, and this tree is moving way too fast! Tell it to- *hiccup* stop spinning, man!

Hellfire: Woah. Some serious sh*t

Aircrest: I- *hiccup* I...I love you man

Hellfire:...

Aircrest: I really do, I mean, when we're together, I have like...this connection and sh*t

Hellfire:......

Aircrest: I really appreciate you being there man...I reall- *hiccup*...what the f*ck was I t-talking about...

Hellfire:.....*starts downing beer like there was no tomorrow, rendering the case empty*

*A few minutes later*

Airy and Helly: Show me the way to go home bom bom, Im tired and I wanna go to bed...I had a drink about an hour ago and its starting to go to my head...

Aircrest: What...what do you mean its *hiccup* starting to get to our heads? How the f*ck did...did we know that song...and how did we manage to stay...stay in keeey..without- with- without messing up...

Hellfire: *leans forward on the branch, digging his claws into the wood so as to make sure he wont fall off. Throws up*

Aircrest: Ah...thats...th- oh shi- *leans forward to throw up also* ...Aw damn...Im...Im f*cked...

Hellfire:...It- It makes the past go away...but creates... more problems- *hiccup* in the present, eh Airy? *suddenly bursts out laughing*

Aircrest: If...If I wasnt so f*cked up right now...I-I-Id do...something X-x

*Later that night*

Hellfire: *Wakes up, finding himself not in a tree, but in what seems to be a nest, an arm draped over a female Deinonychus* ...WHAT THE FUC-

END
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Postby Hopeflower » Sun Sep 12, 2010 3:38 am

[In a dark clearing, apparently in a dream, Tigerclaw is pacing around Demonpaw, his lip curling. She has just wandered off from their training session and almost been attacked by another Dark Forest cat. She wanted time to think about what she has just learned about her grandfather. he is apparently angry with her. He begins to speak in a low, rough voice.]

Tigerclaw: Didn't I tell you not to go out? Didn't I? *his eyes narrow*

Demonpaw: *looks away* You did, you did...

Tigerclaw: Didn't I say this world was cruel? *his scowl deepens* Didn't I?

Demonpaw: *sighs unhappily* You did, you did...

Tigerclaw: Then tell me how this happened, what I did wrong, tell me why. *he turns toward her, suddenly seeming tired* Can't you just wake up, Demonpaw, and forget this dreadful night?

Demonpaw: *suddenly stands up, bristling* Didn't you say that you were different? Didn't you?

Tigerclaw: *pauses and looks away for a second* I am, I am.

Demonpaw: Say you aren't that murderer. Say it!

Tigerclaw: *unsheathing his claws and beginning to pace again* I am, I am.

Demonpaw: *getting angry* Then tell me how to act, Tigerclaw. What to say, Tigerclaw. Tell me why? *with dawning realization* All you've ever told me, every word...is a lie! *she, taking advantage of his surprise, begins to circle him. after a pause, she speaks again* Didn't you say that you'd protect me? Didn't you?

Tigerclaw: I tried, I tried...

Demonpaw: Is this how you'd help me? Is it?

Tigerclaw: *lifting his head* I tried, I tried!

Demonpaw: *turns away with a hiss* Don't help me, anymore Tigerclaw. You are dead, grandfather, in my eyes. Someone has replaced you. *looking back at him with burning eyes of red and blue* Grandfather, I hate you. *she snarls* Go and die! *she leaves, bristling furiously

Tigerclaw: *growling* Didn't I offer to train her, teach her, didn't I?

Whispers from the surrounding trees: You did, you did...

Tigerclaw: Didn't I train her to hold her own, didn't I?

Whispers: You did, you did...

Tigerclaw: Then someone took her from me, stole my weapon. They're to blame! Have I failed my mission? *his amber eyes begin to burn, narrowing as he sinks his claws into the body of the cat he fought* ...Then let the grandfather die... *he looks skyward* ...and let the monster rise! *he lets out a thunderous caterwaul, which echoes for several moments before the eerie silence descends again*


{Brought to you by the mind of HF after she watched too much Repo! the genetic opera. 8D}
"Gotta have a little sadness once in a while so you know when the good times come."
"Talent is a pursued interest. In other words, anything that you're willing to practice, you can do." ~ Bob Ross

"The future is always uncertain and painful but it must be lived." ~ Unknown
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Re: Funny RPG Scenes

Postby The Kingpin » Tue Feb 01, 2011 2:04 am

Humorised version of the recent events in FRPG

*epic battle between Huergah (UR's were-creatures) and Arashi (my Asian dragon)*


*Fight ends and most retreat, while Arashi starts eating their leader*

*Survivors get up and look at him*

Survivors: WHHHHHY? why'd you attack us?! D:

Arashi: Was bored. started f***ing with your leader. you started it.

Survivors: We were hungry! D:

Arashi: *looks around* well. lots of food to go around now. take them home. Bon appetit! :^_^:

Survivors: But they're our family! we're not cannibals! we don't eat roadkill either!

Arashi: Your loss :/
"Ah yes, organised chaos. the sign of a clever but ever-busy mind. To the perpetrator, a carefully woven web of belongings and intrigue, but to the bystander? Madness!"
–William Beckett, Lore of Leyuna RPG

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Re: Funny RPG Scenes

Postby UndeadRaptor » Tue Feb 01, 2011 2:31 am

More humor from the events in the FRPG:

*In a small medical tent in the Confederate kingdom near the farming fields*

Eziok: *getting out of bed to get crossbow* Must. Get. Weapons! *Falls as he steps on ground.*

Doctor: O.o why'd ya do that?!

Eziok: Need weapons!

Soldier: Uh... I got nothing to say.

Eziok: *Crawls to cabinets holding his stuff, while in intense pain and nearly faints* I. Need. My. Items!

Captain: WHY?!?!
"What's the plan?!" - random soldier, Mud and Blood 2.

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Re: Funny RPG Scenes

Postby Giratina93 » Fri Jun 24, 2011 12:19 am

(Based off the Garra-MR "Fight" back in SHRPG...)

*Meta-Ridley is currently caught in a sand tomb, constructed by Garra, the latter interrogating him.*

Garra: Where is your master? Details this time!

MR: Didn't I already tell you? My master lives in the penthouse in the second-highest building in this city.

Garra: Then you are of no more use to me.

*Garra closes his fist completely, the sand tomb completely crushing Meta-Ridley, bones snapping and blood jetting out as the cyborg screams into the night sky, even as he is killed. Garra releashes his grip, the sand tomb collapses, the pasty remains of MR spill onto the ground.*

Garra: What a petetic escuse for a dragon.

*Garra leaves as a stream of sand, leaving the dead remains of Ridley lying ontop of the building.*

*High up in the skies above the city, a fleet of Space Pirate vessels observe what's going on. A Space Pirate scientist and Commander, both watching from the safety of their frigate, sigh.*

Pirate Scientist: Aww, man, not again. I was sure he'd win this time. That girl is gonna be ticked when she learns of this...

Pirate commander: Rebuild him.

PS: What?

PC: Rebuild him.

PS: Sir, he's pretty much a pile of goo at this poi...

PC: YOU'LL REBUILD HIM USING F***ING DUCT TAPE AND BUBBLEGUM IF YOU HAVE TO, GOSHDAMNIT!!! DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR!?
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Re: Funny RPG Scenes

Postby Hopeflower » Wed Jun 29, 2011 12:46 pm

This came to me last night in a burst of exhausted nonsensical randomness.


Hellfire: hey. Aircrest.

Aircrest: ya?

Hellfire: about all these name jokes you throw at me....

Aircrest: LOLUMAD?

Hellfire:.....

Aircrest: ...look dude if they piss you off that mu -

Hellfire: *slight glare, shutting Aircrest up* AS I was saying...these jokes all seem to be based around heat.

Aircrest: ....yeah...and? o.o

Hellfire: it all makes one wonder.

Aircrest: wonder... What exactly?

Hellfire: *looks at him for a long moment* Aircrest....have you been trying to tell me you're g -

Aircrest: ....! No, no no nonononono! O_O I'm not!

Hellfire: ......It's ok if you are you know. I just figured I'd tell you I don't swing that way. Just in case.

Aircrest: well I don't either. I have a mate you jacka**. =___=

hellfire: hmm. If you say so.

Aircrest: ....what's that supposed to mean.

Hellfire: just that if you DID swing that way, a mate would be a good cover. *smirk*

Aircrest: ..........

Hellfire: U mad bro?=w=

Aircrest: ...I hate you sometimes.
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"Talent is a pursued interest. In other words, anything that you're willing to practice, you can do." ~ Bob Ross

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Re: Funny RPG Scenes

Postby Giratina93 » Wed Aug 03, 2011 1:55 am

INSPIRATION FROM THE HEAVENS! This is a one-shot sort of thing... that I find hilarious...



*Is sitting on a couch in Bowser's Castle, tired, and exhausted, watching TV with Meta-Ridley and Minene, when I hear knocking on the door.*

Come in.

*Bowser comes in, I look over at him, noticing a smirk on his face.*

okay, wise guy. Just what did you do this time?

Bowser: I just bought this nice DVD of an anime called, um...

*Bowser pulls out the case, which I get a glimpse of befor ehe covers it up to read the title.*

Bowser: Oh yeah, it's called Higurashi No Naku Koro Ni. I saw it on a shelf at Fred Meyer and decided to try it out... If anyone needs me, then I'll be in my room!

*The three of us simply nod, before Bowser enters into his room and locks the door.*

7 hours later

*Is knocking on Bowser's door.*

Bowser! Dinner's ready! Cresselia came over and cooked for us some Orange Chicken to eat!

*The door opens up slowly, Bowser's face emerges from the door, his eyes twitching rapidly, and foam coming from his mouth.*

Um... are you okay?

Bowser: ...that DVD... is messed up! Seriously...messed... up! You know why TT hates Anime so much?

*By now, everyone's gathered around, before reacting in shock to Bowser's horrified expression.*

Bowser: This Anime... embodies everything he hates about Anime so much... the murders... those damn murders... GYAAAAH! I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!

*Bowser's head explodes, everyone jumps back in fright as he falls over, dead.*

ooookay... That was wierd...

Cresselia: Um, does this usually happen when people watch DVD's?

MR:... Let me watch this... There's no an anime can drive a man insane...

7 more hours later

*We're all asleep, Cresselia having left, when a massive explosion rocks the castle, shaking us all awake, me and Minene dash downstairs to the TV room, where we see blood having been splattered all over the place, MR's corpse having exploded everywhere.*

Good gosh, how did this happen?

Minene: Maybe... it was the food he ate?

Or perhaps... it was this damn DVD Bowser got!

Minene: That's it! I'm going to watch this Anime, just to prove to you that it didn't kill anyone!

Okay then...

*Nods, before heading back up to get some more sleep, Minene turns the power back on to the TV before starting up the DVD once more.

7 hours later

*Wakes up, before getting dressed and heading downstairs, only to see Minene in the kitchen, cooking up scrambled eggs and bacon for breakfast.*

So... how was the Anime?

Minene: Oh, it was alright. I still don't understand how both Bowser and Meta-Ridley got killed, but I guess I'll ask them once they revive... Once breakfast is over, how about you watch it also?

Okay then... If what your saying is true...

Minene: Oh don't worry... it's not scary in the slightest...

*8 hours later, is having a heart attack infront of the TV, blood-red foam gurglung up from my mouth, Minene bursts out laughing as she sees my condition.*

You...witch... *Explodes*
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Re: Funny RPG Scenes

Postby Pyronychus » Sun Jan 22, 2012 8:04 pm

In the jungles of Isla Sorna, a slender green shape pushed its way through a dense patch of foliage, making much more noise than was strictly necessary, the raptor humming happily to herself, seemingly oblivious to the fact that other more dangerous creatures might easily hear her. She had just recently left one of the old, broken down laboratory buildings at the outskirts of the human compound, in which she had come across a canister of bubbling ice blue liquid that, she quickly discovered, tasted delightful. A small amount of it was still visible dripping down her lower jaw. As she finally stomped her way ungracefully into a small clearing, the raptor came to a halt and tilted her head skyward, spreading her arms wide as she broadcasted to the sky the song she had been humming. “Ooooooooooh, I was walkin’ through the woods one day, in the very merry month of May!” Her balance wavering, she slumped against the closest tree for support. “I was taken by surprise by a pair of glowing eyes, and I never lived to see another DAAAAAAAY!”

As she finished the last words of the song, her voice inexplicably rose an octave, the high note screeching out across the clearing and beyond, scaring some nearby birds from their perch, and surely alerting every creature within a half-mile radius of her presence. Within seconds, a rustling sound to her side caused the raptor’s head to snap around, her eyes staring, slightly unfocused, at a spot in the leaves where a familiar slate gray snout had poked into view, her brother’s yellow gaze betraying his horror. “Good grief Sy, what’s with the racket? Are you alright? Where in the world have you been?” Rhojis cried, leaping out of the vegetation in time to grab his sister’s arm as she let go of the tree, swaying dangerously. “I was over yonder at the funny human place. Y’know, they have the most delicious colorful… stuff there. You should try it. Just go that way, you can’t miss it…” She gestured wildly with her free arm, failing to even remotely indicate the direction she’d actually come from. Then she turned to look the gray raptor in the eye, paused, squinting indignantly, and hissed, “Hey, whadda ya callin’ a racket? That’s a great song! Took a long time to perfect it…” “I bet it did…” Rhojis muttered, noting her chemical-stained muzzle. “You probably had to go through a whole can of that blue stuff, didn’t you?” Sylicora’s demeanor changed in an instant as she cracked a wide, loopy grin and gave an exaggerated nod that made her knees buckle. “You guessed it, brother. Hey, if you wanna try some, I’ll take you there-” “No, no, I don’t think so Sy. I think we should get back to the cave. I don’t know how we’re going to explain this to Dad though,” Rhojis hissed, looking troubled. “Oh, don’t worry about him. He won’t mind, trust me,” Sylicora hissed, giggling quietly.

Then she tilted her head back once again and shrieked to the sky, “HEY DAAAAAAAD!” Rhojis cringed. “Sy, what are you doing? You’re only going to attract the attention of-” But he was cut off by a loud bark coming from within the forest. “WHAAAAT? WHERE ARE YOU?” “OVER HERE.” “WHERE?” “HERE!” For a few seconds, the sound of heavy, uncoordinated footfalls crashing through the undergrowth came closer until, to Rhojis’ utter horror and amazement, the rusty brown figure of his father staggered into the open, the older raptor smirking and snickering uncontrollably, his face streaked with neon liquids of various colors. “GOD that stuff’s good… Sy, you just HAVE to try the purple, it’s divine… Oh, hi Rhojis. Care to join us?” The gray raptor simply stared speechlessly, thinking he must have lost the use of some critical part of his brain. Could his most recent fall off that Corythosaur on their last hunt have done more damage than he thought? “Well, whether you guys are coming or not, I’mma go back for s’more,” Beryl slurred, spinning on his heel a bit too fast. “Whoa, why’s the world moving all of a sudden? It’s not s’posed to… do that.” He hadn’t taken more than two steps toward the trees when his legs gave out and he collapsed onto the mossy earth, out cold.

The next day, Sylicora woke to find herself back in the cool dimness of their cave, Rhojis sleeping soundly nearby, the juvenile exhausted after having somehow managed to drag the other two back home the evening before. The olive raptor was the first to try to sit up, and instantly regretted it. Groaning, she sank back onto her leafy bed and raised a clawed hand to massage her aching head. But as soon as her fingers swept over the back of her neck, she sat bolt upright, blinking against the pain. “Rhojis?” she squeaked, pulling desperately at the strange growths she felt sprouting from the base of her skull. The gray raptor jerked awake and sat up. “Wha? What happened?” “You tell me!” the olive raptor squealed, crawling into the beam of sunlight shining in through the cave entrance. Rhojis’ jaw dropped and he reached up to touch the jagged green and yellow striped quills with a shaking hand. “Oh, that’s not good.” Sylicora, looking ever more mortified by the minute, clutched and scratched at her skull as if she could simply push the quills back in muttering frantically under her breath. “Nononononono. This can’t be happening! Can’t be!” “Somethin’ wrong?” croaked Beryl groggily, groaning as he tried to roll his aching body into a crouch. Sylicora let out a very un-raptorlike whine and slunk into the shadows as Beryl painfully stretched out his stiff limbs. “What in the…” he paused suddenly with one arm outstretched, staring in disbelief at three webbed fingers. Then he raised another arm. And another. And another. The two extra arms had webbing stretching from the last finger to his flank, almost like proto-wings. Then he felt a slight itching sensation run down his spine, and twisted around to look, discovering that he now had a tall row of neon purple webbed quills running the length of his body. “Oh crap,” he moaned, before passing out.
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Re: Funny RPG Scenes

Postby Pyronychus » Tue Jul 01, 2014 2:10 am

Just found this hiding in my documents...

Phones Gone Pheral - A hypothetical text conversation between Crusher and Darkness


Crusher: Hey Darkness, was that you I just saw go by the north window?

Darkness: No, it’s the Ghost of Christmas Future here to suck your face.

Crusher: Lol, you want to kiss me?

Darkness: your face

Darkness: fact

Crusher: It’s a fact that you want my face?

Darkness: Omg, *SAFE

Darkness: *SURF

Darkness: God donut!

Crusher: Whut??

Darkness: SUCK YOUR SALT

Darkness: *SALINE

Darkness: I ducking HATE this iPoo

Darkness: *IPOD

Crusher: XD

Darkness: ***S O U L

Darkness: Suck. Your. SOUL… GAWD

Crusher: Can’t… breathe… XDDD

Darkness: Shut up… x____x
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