Funny RPG Scenes

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Postby Zephyr » Sat Feb 09, 2008 12:02 am

Host 1: You know ever since the Imperials discovered the Tyranids they have had problems with pest control.

Host 2: Indeed they have but with our new product they will never have to worry about that again.

Host 1: Yes its the new SUPER DELUXE MAXIMUM STRENGTH CAN OF RAID!

Host 2: Ah... i can never get enough of this stuff it even keeps away those annoying symbiont pest guns they have. They will shoot those at you and before you know it your insides are being eaten away.

Host 1: Yes but with this new RAID you can zap them right when they land on you and then they will be hitting the ground dead.

Host 2: their are certain side effects however... * keels over dead as beetles start crawling out of his body*

Host 1: for example; pneumonia, strep throat, watery eyes, extreme and excessive diarhea, blisters and boils, choking, vomitting, malaria, skin melting off loss of hair, and the tyranid bugs evolving and adapting to become immune to the toxins thus being able to eat you.

Beetle: thats all for today folks... get him!

Beetles: * jump on to the host and burrow into his skin eating him inside out*

Host 1: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!! * dies*


* credits*
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Postby Raptor Llama » Sat Feb 09, 2008 6:16 pm

Note: The following never happened in the space E-war.

Raven: Join the dark side!

Randy: Never!

Raven: We have cookies!

Randy: I'm in.
"Insert a really cool quote that makes me appear cool and wise and make it italicized to make it look quoteish here." - Raptor Llama
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Postby Hopeflower » Fri Feb 15, 2008 12:13 am

Bloodspill: *running as hard and fast as she can*

Talon: AHHH OMFG CRAZY SHE-CAT'S GONNA KILL ME! *drops kit* ...sh*t. *crashes into tree* Ow.

Bloodspill: What the... *crashes into tree behind Talon and stands up* That didn't hurt. Thanks for the cushioning, Big A*s. *picks up kit and pads away*

Talon: X_X
"Gotta have a little sadness once in a while so you know when the good times come."
"Talent is a pursued interest. In other words, anything that you're willing to practice, you can do." ~ Bob Ross

"The future is always uncertain and painful but it must be lived." ~ Unknown
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Postby Dilophosaurus_Freak » Fri Feb 15, 2008 2:10 am

Shredder: Hello
?: Hi there
Shredder: who is it??
?: Come out shredder you know
Shredder: no i dont but i heard your voice before
?: it's me remember
Shredder: no..
?: I'll give you a hint i'm behind you
Shredder looked behind him
Shredder: OMFG!! It's Michael Jackson!!!
MJ: come back shredder dont run!!
Shredder got out in time to find himself in a boxing match.
?: Hello..Shredder
Shredder: Uh...Hi?
?: I know you, and you know me
Shredder: okay, show yourself
He comes out and shows Shredder
Shredder: OMG!!! It's Mike Tyson!!
MT: now come here, lets box!
Shredder bit off mikes ear
shredder: Payback for you biting off that guys ear!!
MT: I have a collection!!!
Shredder has a black out and fainted

He woke up and looked at himself. He gasped, He was in the Oprah Show
Oprah: So how is it like to be an extinct reptile?
Shredder: Uh..It's pretty good...
Tom Cruise: Yea!! I'm in love Katie Holmes!!! Yea!!!
Shredder: calm down buddy it's okay
Tom cruise does a little dance and jumps on oprahs couch.
Shredder: OMG!!!

Shredder blacked out and woke up..It was all a dream.
(copy and paste it into address bar.)
Mike Tyson Ear:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q9EjHpAtYUc
Oprah Tom cruise:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=21i4j5_bs40
Owwwwwww

That hurts
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Postby C S » Sat Mar 01, 2008 2:36 am

(Snowclaw trying to learn how to be a father...to his own kittens)

Snowclaw: What are they doing?
Loneclaw: I dont know, but when they have nothing to do, tey can be very mischeivious
Snowclaw: They're creepy, cant you tell them to go away, or atleast scare them?
Loneclaw: I cant, they are leigion

*Kits turn to them*

Snowclaw: Your fault! *runs off*
Loneclaw: AH!! *lights surround him and he floats to the sky*


(Kudos to DM and HF for the denzians)
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Postby TyrannoTitan » Sun Mar 30, 2008 1:53 am

That Global Warming President Dude Who I Forgot Who's Name Was (Al Gore?): OK PEOPLE, WE REALLY NEED TO GET DOWN TO BUSINESS. The NUMBER 1 cause of global warming...is Crusher's ***.

*Giant cork is lowered behind him*

Crusher: O_O'


*This nonsensical burst of random was caused by extreme boredom of me and Doc during an ISS discussion on MSN*
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Postby Legendary Elite » Sun Mar 30, 2008 2:06 am

Meanwhile, in the middle of Isla Sorna...

*A pair of raptors are running through the main forest of Isla Sorna mucking and being hysterical.*
Raptor: "In the jungle, the mighty jungle. The giant rex sleeps tonight!!!"
*They continue running until one steps on what appears to be a log is actually a very big tail. Unfortunately one of the raptors angrily kicks the tail.*
Crusher: AAAAARRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEGHAAAAAAAAAR!!!!!
*Crusher stands up and sees the two raptors.*
Raptor 2: "SH***********T!"
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Postby TyrannoTitan » Thu Apr 17, 2008 9:08 pm

*During the event currently happening in ISS*

*Crusher is walking toward group*

*Random beared raptor pops out*

Raptor: YOU. SHALL NOT. PASS!

*Stomps on ground*

Crusher: ...?

*Steps forward, the earth under them giving way*

*9 Days later...*

Crusher *Still falling*: Got any...3s?

Raptor: YOU. SHALL. GO FISH.

Crusher: -_- Stop that.
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Postby Legendary Elite » Fri Apr 18, 2008 1:39 pm

lol, that there is the main problem with Crusher, especially if he became overweight.

*Crusher is chasing a Spinosaur, anger searing across his eyes which are flaring up. He runs at full speed, like a something from the core of hell...until a Velociraptor got in the way. Crusher immediately skids to a halt but can't stop as he slides right into a log as the raptor moves just in time. Crusher's bones are broken in the fall....*

Now imagine comparing Crusher to the elephant and a Compy to a mouse...and like in all fairy tales the Elephant is afraid of the mouse...in conclusive..."Crusher's worse nightmare."
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Postby Iceking » Sun Apr 20, 2008 3:21 am

Shadowfang and darkshadow are getting ready the scene of a movie when shadow fang attacks darkshadow. Darkshadow then hears a thump form a nearby tree.

Darkshadow:"what happened?

Shadowfang:"I fell out of the tree."

30 minutes later, firestar, darkspot, smokestorm, snowclaw and darkshadow's friend are begining the scene in which shadowfang is being chased.

Shadowfang:"You'll never take me alive!"

then shadowfang falls into a pit and another impact is heard at the bottom, as well as a quick snap.

Smokestorm:"What happened?"

Shadowfang:"I broke my leg."
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Postby Hopeflower » Sun Apr 20, 2008 3:33 am

(Current scene in Warriors RPG, take 1)

Firestar: I can't sit in my den waiting for something happens to---blech! Can I start over?

(Take 2)

Firestar: ...I can't sit around doing nothing while you.....I messed that up completely, didn't I?

Heatherpelt: *Stifles a laugh*

(Take 3)

Heatherpelt: You'll need to stay in your den for about a half-moon.

Firestar: No way! I can't...er...forget my...lines...I can't forget my lines!

Flamesight: -_-'

*-*SOME TIME LATER*-*

(Take 501)

Firestar: No way! I can't sit around in my den doing nothing for days on end.

Silverstripe: Alright! We got it!

*laughter and applause*
"Gotta have a little sadness once in a while so you know when the good times come."
"Talent is a pursued interest. In other words, anything that you're willing to practice, you can do." ~ Bob Ross

"The future is always uncertain and painful but it must be lived." ~ Unknown
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Postby C S » Sun Apr 20, 2008 3:55 am

Loneclaw's dead days

Lonelcaw:.....theres an evil monkey in my closet

Starclan cat: no...no, no there isnt

Loneclaw: YOU DONT KNOW THE PAIN!!! DAMMIT!!!!

Fighting temtation

Loneclaw:...must resist urge.....to.....KILL WITH THE STAR CLAN SNIPER RIFLE!!

Lightstorm: I love you Heatherpelt

Loneclaw: O_O! >.> <.< *Fires a beam of light into Lightstorm and he falls dead*

Loneclaw: SCORE!

Snowclaw: LONECLAW IMMA GONNA KICK YER GREY AS*S!!!!


In law problems

Loneclaw: HI GUYZ!!

Hawky: *pointing finger and staring wide eyed at Loneclaw*

Loneclaw:.....my fly is down? what?

No one paying attention to you

Bloodspill: YOUR NOT ICE!

Ghost: Aight, you got me, my name is ghost

Loneclaw: ITOLD YOU! I TOLD YOU ALL! AND YOU DIDNT BELIEVE ME! WHY DIDNT YOU BELIVE ME!!!!!????????

Drugs

Loneclaw: I wont do it, i wont...I......dammit *jumps into a feild of cat nip*

*He wakes up on top the empire state building*

Loneclaw:.....bad trips man.....*sees Kong*
"Saturn was NOT a Single Lady." - Unknown
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Postby Hopeflower » Sat May 31, 2008 12:15 am

*While Firestar is racing to the gathering...*

Firestar: OH SH*T!!! *trips over a fallen log and rolls down a hill, banging off of random things, and knocking over a few cats before she comes to a halt at Flarestar's feet.*

Flarestar: OMG man...it's a KITTYPET!

Everyone except Firestar: SHUT UP!

*Demonpaw drags a boombox into the clearing and slips a CD in, then presses the play button*

Demonpaw: The pedestal is falling down, falling down, falling down! The pedestal is falling down! Da da da da da, da da da da da da.

*Firestar gets up, glaring at Flarestar*

Firestar: Record sales are on the mark
Cuz thats about the time the rumors start
Where all the people talking out their ***
Well, someone gotta school ya cause ya got no class
Well I've paid my dues
I'm a seasoned dame
So why you gotta throw salt in my game
You hide behind the computer screens so that you dont have to be seen
How could a person be so mean

Who are you, and what do you do that makes you think you're above me, but have you walked in my shoes?


ThunderClan: The PEDESTAL!

Firestar and Demonpaw: You put yourself on, well since I'm breaking it down-down it's gonna collapse and be gone-gone-gone-gone-gone...

Firestar: Probably one of them tag a longs down 4 the free t-shirt
Cuz you're a hanger on
You think you got my figured out
Never met me have no clue what I'm about
Maybe I got things you wish you had
You need to stop the hate and get a pen and pad
I work around the clock, so fill your smoth up with a sock
And get you head up off your ****
Tell me who you are and what your background is
Tell me how you're feelin' when you listen to this


Firestar, Demonpaw, and Thunderheart: Who are you-and what do you do
To make you think you are above me
But have you walked in my shoes
The pedestal
You put yourself on
Well since I'm breaking it down now
It's gonna collapse and be gone-gone-gone-gone-gone


Demonpaw: Your pedestal is falling down, falling down, falling down
Your pedestal is falling down, falling down, falling down, dum dum dum dum
Your pedestal is falling down, falling down, falling down
Your pedestal is falling down, falling down, falling down, da da da da da da
Tell me who you are and what your background is
Tell me how you're feelin' when you listen to this
You think I dont see you on the internet, I read it, dont think I wont forget


ThunderClan: Who are you-and what do you do
To make you think you are above me
But have you walked in my shoes
The pedestal
You put yourself on
Well since I'm breaking it down now
It's gonna collapse and be gone-gone-gone-gone-gone

Who are you-and what do you do
To make you think you are above me
But have you walked in my shoes
The pedestal
You put yourself on
Well since I'm breaking it down now
It's gonna collapse and be gone-gone-gone-gone-gone


*Demonpaw promptly smashes the boombox with a hammer, and Firestar looks around her.*

Firestar: ThunderClan! We out!

*ThunderClan leaves, leaving a shocked and startled Flarestar behind them.*
"Gotta have a little sadness once in a while so you know when the good times come."
"Talent is a pursued interest. In other words, anything that you're willing to practice, you can do." ~ Bob Ross

"The future is always uncertain and painful but it must be lived." ~ Unknown
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Postby Raptor Llama » Mon Jun 02, 2008 10:31 pm

Mythbusters revealed that Elephants ARE afraid of mice 4 real! :shock: I know, crazy.

Now I'm thinking of an RPG scene involving the far side gallery, but I can't put my finger on it...
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Postby TyrannoTitan » Fri Jun 06, 2008 9:27 pm

RL, this is for actual Scenes, not "thinking of a scene"...So unless you have a Scene, don't post here.

Regarding the fact that now basically half of my characters are batshit crazy:

*Firestreak picks up bags and heads toward random white house*

*Neltharion and Darkness welcome him in with open arms and proceed to kick rabbits, cackling manically*
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Postby Hopeflower » Fri Jun 06, 2008 10:24 pm

(In reference to Snakes on a Plane)

Firestar: Enough is ENOUGH! I've had it with these mothaf**kin' traitors in this mothaf**kin' Clan!

Everyone else: ....O_o....
"Gotta have a little sadness once in a while so you know when the good times come."
"Talent is a pursued interest. In other words, anything that you're willing to practice, you can do." ~ Bob Ross

"The future is always uncertain and painful but it must be lived." ~ Unknown
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Postby Iceking » Fri Jun 06, 2008 10:57 pm

Godzilla, AMAKO and A-mech are in a movie that is a monster version of monty python and the holy grail. The scene is now the one in which the black knight is guarding the bridge. Godzilla plays the black night.

AMAKO:You fight with the strength of many monsters, sir monster.

Godzilla:.......

AMAKO:I am AMAKO, king of the cyborgs

Godzilla:.......

AMAKO:I seek the finest and the bravest monsters in the land to join me in my qurtered catolot.


Godzilla:.......

AMAKO:You have proved yourself worthy. Will you join me?

Godzilla:........

AMAKO:You make me sad. So be it. Come A-mech.

Godzilla:None shall pass.

AMAKO:What?

Godzilla:None shall pass.

AMAKO:I have no quarrel with you, good sir monster. But i must cross this bridge.

Godzilla:Then you shall die.

AMAKO:I command you, as king of the cyborgs to stand aside!

Godzilla:I move... for no monster.

AMAKO:So be it!

*AMAKO lunges forward with his pincer and slices Godizlla's right foot off.*

AMAKO:Now stand aside, worthy advisery!

Godzilla:Tis but a scratch.

AMAKO:A scratch?! Your foots off!

Godizlla:No it isn't.

AMAKO:Well what's that then?!

*AMAKO points at godzilla's severed foot.*

Human watching nearby:It's his foot.

AMAKO:Shut up!

*AMAKO turns and fires his laser, incerating the human.*
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Postby C S » Fri Jun 06, 2008 11:02 pm

(In continuation)

*might morphin power rangers theme plays*


AMAKO: What treachery is this!?
Mecha Godzilla: *humming along to the music*
AMAKO:.....*Fires his harpoon into Mecha's head, pulling back after the harpoon peirces it, pulling of his head*

Random guy with a deep voice: BOOM HEAD SHOT
*transformers theme plays as G1 flies in*
G1: One shall stand
AMAKO: Oh hell
G1: one shall fall
*AMAKO kicks G1, he falls down*
AMAKO: And tis you

G1: Cheap shot

Godzilla: Thou shall pass if ye answer this, what is the speed of the sparrow?

AMAKO: African or European?

Godzilla: I dont know that!

*Godzilla is picked up by flying monkeys (GIANT) and thrown away*
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Postby Zephyr » Sat Jun 07, 2008 12:26 am

This is just something that cam up from a bored persons mind


*Fitz runs up to Desh collapsed on the ground and rolls him over*

Desh: Duuude, Fitz, you missed the party im all jacked up,

* Desh makes a big stupid grin*

Fitz: What the hell happened to you

Desh: I dont know i woke up and was here then i had a pissy fit

Fitz: What?

Desh: I dont know, i guess that happens when an evil corporation is pumping you full of chemicals. Wanna smoke?

*desh picks up helicopter propeller on fire*

Desh: get it? smoke! Ahhhahahaha!

Fitz: -_-

* takes his gun and pistol whips Desh on head*

* Jaden Trix, and Dianna come up from the stairs*

All: is Desh okay

Fitz: ! :shock: ! sure... lets go with that
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Postby Hopeflower » Wed Jun 18, 2008 12:04 am

(Takes place after the battle with the rogues)

Shadowfang: Man, I hate those Clan cats. *licks a wound on his hindquarters* I won't be able to sit for a week!

Goldpelt: *bursts out laughing hysterically*

Shadowfang: It's not funny, Goldpelt.

Goldpelt: *cracks up completely*

Shadowfang: Hey, shut up!

Goldpelt: *continues laughing*

Shadowfang: *snarls and launches himself at Goldpelt*

*the two roll over and over before another rogue steps in*

Ferntail: Would you two knock it off!

Goldpelt: *chews on own leg*

Shadowfang: *sits up and points at Goldpelt* Well, he started it!

Ferntail: Look at you guys. No wonder we're dangling at the bottom of the dang food chain.

Shadowfang: *with a string of spit dangling from his lower lip* Man, I hate dangling.

Ferntail: And if it wasn't for those Clan cats, we'd be running the joint!

Shadowfang: Man, I hate Clan cats!

Ferntail: *leans toward Shadowfang* So pushy.

Shadowfang: And hairy.

Ferntail: Stinky.

Shadowfang & Ferntail: And man, are they UUUURRRRGLY!

Goldpelt, Ferntail & Shadowfang: *burst out laughing*

(This was brought to you by the weird mind of HF after she watched too much of The Lion King. Be glad you are not her, as she drives her family nuts.)
"Gotta have a little sadness once in a while so you know when the good times come."
"Talent is a pursued interest. In other words, anything that you're willing to practice, you can do." ~ Bob Ross

"The future is always uncertain and painful but it must be lived." ~ Unknown
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