Funny RPG Scenes

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Postby The Kingpin » Fri Aug 24, 2007 12:36 am

Greeneye: HEY STEEELY! WHERE ARE YOUUUUUUUUUU?! *at 3 AM, roaring at the top of his voice, while standing RIGHT OUTSIDE HER CAVE*
*5 KMs away* Crusher's sneaking up to the prey, everything's asleep, he's tired, and has been trying to sneak up on them for the last 3 hours, trying to avoid the watch. *Greeneye's roar scares all the herbivores and they scatter, running off*
Crusher: GODDAMMIT!
*Walks over to Steely's cave*
Meanwhile...
Greeneye: So uuh, i was wondering, you didn't see my family, so i decided i'd bring my family and introduce them to you at 3 AM while you were asleep just to piss you all off pretendi-oh ****, Crusher's upset, let's hope he isn't angry with me for scaring away his meal
Everyone else: O_o
*Crusher charges in* OUT! NOW! MOVE! *Grabs Greeneye by the neck and drags him back to his territory*
Everyone else: well that was random. anyway, BACK TO BED! *everyone sleeps*
crusher throws Greeneye on the ground at his nest, kicks him in the head, knocking him out, taking a **** on him and leaving*
Greeneye's mate and kid:........dayum, dat dumbayass dayad of ars dun got himseyelf owned
*Crusher peaks in, spits on Greeneye*: BIATCH!
Greeneye's mate and child: wayell that was randum....i geyess we'll jus' hayuv ta wait teeil he wakes up...


a few months later...

Executioner: CHOMP *runs away laughing like a maniac, Greeneye torn to pieces*
Greeneye's mate and kid: wayell...pops' dayed now...i guess we die too cuz nobody wants us no more...*Greeneye's mate and kid die randomly*
"Ah yes, organised chaos. the sign of a clever but ever-busy mind. To the perpetrator, a carefully woven web of belongings and intrigue, but to the bystander? Madness!"
–William Beckett, Lore of Leyuna RPG

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Postby Pyronychus » Fri Aug 24, 2007 12:41 am

At twilight...

Switchblade, Storm and Thorn were laying at the back of the cliff cave, prepairing to go to sleep for the night. The 5 young raptors were sleeping peacefully in their nest nearby.
Switchy felt a tap on her tail. She glanced backward but didn't see anything on her tail. She tried to go back to sleep and felt another light tap. Slightly annoyed, she raised her head again and saw a tiny grin flash across Storm's face. "Stop touching me," she growled. In responce he growled, "I didn't touch you." Switchblade glared and put her head down. After a few seconds, her eyes snapped open again to see Storm's claw an inch away from her tail. "I said stop touching me!" she snarled. "I'm not touching you!" Storm retorted, his claw hovering near her tail. "Yes you are touching me!" she snarled, baring her teeth. "No I'm not!! Look! I'm not touching you!" Switchblade jerked her tail away and sat up. Storm pulled himself up into a crouch beside her. "You're touching me," Switchblade muttered after a moment, feeling Storm's claw now hovering beside her arm. "No I'm not." His claw moved a milimeter closer. "STOP TOUCHING ME!" Switchblade screamed and leapt at Storm, tackling him to the ground and waking up the hatchlings, who stared dumbly at the Lilis. Storm wriggled out of Switchblade's grasp and pointed a claw at her.He screamed back, "I'M NOT TOUCHING YOU!" Switchblade bared her teeth and leapt at him again...

A short time later, everything was quiet and the Lilis were sufficiently restrained. Steeltalon was sitting on a grumpy-looking Switchblade and Darkness on a squashed-looking Storm. The young raptors had fallen asleep again. Darkness flicked his tail around idely, staring at the cave wall. "Stop touching me," he growled, feeling a claw next to his shoulder. "I wasn't touching you," Steeltalon replied, smirking...
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Postby Hopeflower » Fri Aug 24, 2007 12:59 am

Sometime before dawn...

*a twig snaps*

Voice: oh snap...
Twig: THANKS! *sobs* NOW I'M BROKEN IN HALF!
Voice: What the...?
Twig: I HOPE YOU'RE HAPPY! *crying hysterically*
Voice: Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry!
Twig: DIE FOR THIS! *jumps up onto the creature's throat and tries to stab it unsucessfully*
Voice: Darkness? What did I tell you about playing with your twigs at this hour?
Darkness: *cringes* Uhh...to not to? I CAN'T HELP IT, STEELY! I'M SORRY!
Steeltalon: *sighs* Just get back in the cave...and stop watching drama films.
Darkness: *sighs and walks into the cave*
"Gotta have a little sadness once in a while so you know when the good times come."
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"The future is always uncertain and painful but it must be lived." ~ Unknown
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Postby HorseGal » Fri Aug 24, 2007 2:11 am

On the deck of the Pearl...

*It is silent on the ship. The crewmen are working as hard as ever. Eric and James are staring at each other with Adeline tapping her foot, waiting either of them to say something. Suddenly...*

Eric: What is this feeling so sudden, and new
James: I felt the moment I LAID EYES ON YOU!
Eric: My pulse is rushing
James: My head is reeling
Eric: My face is flushing
Both: What is this feeling, fervid as a flame...does it have a name? Yes....LOATHING! Unadulterated loathing!
James: For your face
Eric: Your voice...
James: Your clothing!
Both: Let's just say...I loath it all! Every little trait however small, makes my very flesh begin to crawl, with simple utter loathing! There's a strange exhilaration, in such total destestation, it's so pure so strong! Though I do admit it came on fast, still I do believe that it can last and I will be loathing, loathing you my whole life long!
Adeline: WILL YOU TWO PLEASE SHUT THE HELL UP WITH YOUR SINGING? THIS IS NOT A FRICKIN' MUSICAL!
Last edited by HorseGal on Sun Sep 09, 2007 3:08 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby Doc 42 » Fri Aug 24, 2007 2:18 am

Everyone in the clearing is lying about on a sunny day....

*some evil raptors connected to rip tide charge in*
evil raptors: DIE DIE KILLY KILLY
Steely: STEELY MAD STEELY CRUSH
*Steeltalon attacks raptors*
Darky: WOOOOOOOT A FIGHT ^_^
*Darky joins Steeltalon in epic battle*
*Darky and Steely start slaughtering hordes of evil raptors*
Sandstorm: uhhh Ya im gona be over here
*Sandy lies down on rock sunning himself*
Sandy: ya if you need me--*ducks as severed head flies over* Ya Just ask, if you need any help- *Steely sreeches and a raptors arm lands on rock* Ya know what, never mind
*Sandy continues to relax while battle rages on*
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Postby Stallordasaurus Rex » Fri Aug 24, 2007 3:15 am

*at 5:00 am*

Redclaw and his pack: *asleep*
Orangesail: *roars*
Redclaw: AH HOLY HELL!!!?!?!?!
Pack: O_o
Dawn: What is it Redclaw?
Redclaw: ........Orangesail....
Dawn: ...*growls* ......QUIET YOU LOUD DUCK....
Redclaw and pack: *rofl*
Orangesail: D: I hope you arn't upset...
Redclaw: T_T.... no wonder you ducks are going extinct on this island.
Orangesail: TT_TT I am not duck....
Dawn: That what everyone calls you. A gigantic fish eating duck...
Orangesail: *pissed*


*1 hour later*
Orangesail: ........*still awake* ......*sees some random herbivore walk by* ....I'm hungry, might as wll eat...*stands up and kills the random herbivore* *roars in victor*
Redclaw: AH COME ON! WHAT THE HELL IS WITH YOU MOTHER ******* DUCKS....
Dawn: .....dumb *******...
Pack: ..................................*get up and walk away, to a far place from there*
Redclaw and Dawn: *follow*

To everyone: NONE OF THIS HAPPENED BEFORE :P
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Postby TyrannoTitan » Fri Aug 24, 2007 4:41 am

*Two compies are watching Crusher fight a Carchar*

Compy 1: Dude, check this out!
Compy 2: Dude he's HUGE, man!
Compy 1: I'm freakin out...

*Crusher slams the Carchar to the ground*

Compy 2: You owe me a lizard!
Compy 1: Dude, I owe you nothin.
Compy 2: YOU BET ON THE CARCHAR, dude!
Compy 1: F*ck you man, I ain't givin you sh*t...

*Carchar's head is next to compies*

Compy 1: D*MN! That was close!
Compy 2: Dude, I am totally sh*ttin on his head.
Compy 1: DO IT! I f*ckin dare you!

*Compy 2 walks over to the Carchar and a loud noise is heard*

Compy 1: I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU DID IT!
Compy 2: NOW you owe me a lizard!
Compy 1: For that? Sh*t yeah!

*Compies walk off into the jungle*
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Postby C S » Fri Aug 24, 2007 5:08 am

oh god thats funny

baby pteronadons on a cliff


Ptera 1: dude its a long way down AHHHHAAAHHAHA
Ptera 2: bet that hell is down there HAHAHAHAAA
Ptera 1: Hahaha
Ptera 3: yea, mom should go down there for leaving us, hahaha..ha...
Ptera 1: sonovabitch!
*pushes ptera 3 off the cliff*
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Postby TyrannoTitan » Fri Aug 24, 2007 5:23 am

*Darkness, Sandstorm, Clawfist, Blade, and Rawclaw are standing around a small ditch, cheering, two compies fighting inside*

Darkness: COME ON! GO FOR THE NECK! THE NECK!
Sandstorm: YOU PIECE OF SH*T DINOSAUR!

*Clawfist throws in a rock, one compy grabbing it, smashing it off the other's head*

Clawfist: F*CK YA!
Blade: SUNNVABITCH!
Darkness: ALRIGHT!
Rawclaw: F*CKING HELL!

*Compy tackles the one with the rock, biting it's neck*

Sandstorm: OH YA!
Darkness: NO!
Clawfist: -_-'
Rawclaw: YES! GO!
Blade: KILL IT ALREADY!

*Steeltalon and Silver walk over to the pit, looking from the pit to the dinosaurs watching the fight*

Darkness: CHEESE IT!

*All 5 dinos scatter into the jungle*
Last edited by TyrannoTitan on Fri Aug 24, 2007 5:41 am, edited 2 times in total.
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Postby The Kingpin » Fri Aug 24, 2007 5:38 am

Darky after Crusher killed the Carcha at steely's cave...

all in a Brooklyn Accent [no offence to anyone living there]


Crusher: *pissed as hell*
Darky: aaaaaaaah, sup Doc?
Crusher: oh, hey Darky, wussup?
*Darky eats some meat* eh, you know, da usual. da wife's always pissed, da kids wont shut up and da neighbour only just shut up. our guests are great, but expensive ta get food for. wifey wont let me trow 'em out tho, so im stuck wit them
Crusher: Steely always was a bit on the stubborn side
Darky: sup wit you?
Crusher: usual. patrol all day, snore all night, i barely see my family...or eat...or drink...or get to chat wit my son about life...or get a real life...but ah, whut da hell, i make a good livin', got da best food there is, got guards around my home for when i cant watch it personally...
Darky: cool...eh, i think my family took da car again. soooo, i guess im walkin'...
Crusher: damn...harsh...
Darky: yeah...that's life for me...wifey says go, i go. anythin' ta keep her happy, i guess...
Crusher: tough...ah well, i'll be seein ya...
Darky: cya Big C...
Last edited by The Kingpin on Fri Aug 24, 2007 5:45 am, edited 1 time in total.
"Ah yes, organised chaos. the sign of a clever but ever-busy mind. To the perpetrator, a carefully woven web of belongings and intrigue, but to the bystander? Madness!"
–William Beckett, Lore of Leyuna RPG

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Postby C S » Fri Aug 24, 2007 5:42 am

DUDE I live in BK an we dont be all up like that ,word!


:x

BS walks by the allosaur he ran from and sees his blind eye. "HEHE...." Bs gets a bucket of water and drops the allos left hand in the water and hears a trickling noise. The allo wakes up. "AHAHAHA! DUDE!! you pissed all over that ****!" The allo growls and punts BS away*
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Postby TyrannoTitan » Fri Aug 24, 2007 5:48 am

*Switchy gets up, yawning, walking out of the cave*

Switchy: Good Morning Every-

*Darky punts Switchy into a tree*

Darky: THERE, I saved you the f*cking trouble of hurting yourself...

*Looks around, seeing a really p*ssed off Steely*

Darky: Oh...SH*T!

*Runs into jungle, laughing manically*

(No offence to Switchy, just a joke ^_^)
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Postby C S » Fri Aug 24, 2007 5:59 am

Loneclaw walks along the dirt path, his eye moving, scanning the area. He then throws his weight to his hind legs and walks on 2 legs. He pulls out a pair of nun chucks and spins them. "Loneclaw is not to be ***ked with b****es!" Some ninja cats in black ninja suits about 20 jump out with nun chucks. The run at at Loneclaw. "Loneclaw warned you, now screwed you all are...." He jumped, spinnning the nun chucks and ramming them into 3 ninja cats, he then swung them knocking them to the side. He then holds them straight and out stretched and turns around. He blocks a ninja cat with a blood stained katana. Loneclaw swung another pair of nun chucks into it's eye. He picked up the ninja and threw him into the air only to grab it by the tail, spinning it and knocking out the rest of the ninja. "Pissed on you Loneclaw has....don't mess with someone with a nintendo wii...."

Loneclaw continues walking on his dirt path.
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Postby Shadow » Fri Aug 24, 2007 1:41 pm

-A tape is playing in the background-
SS(ShadowStripe):Where are they?
-SS taps paw impatiently-
SS: Ahem. WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU?
Tape: They are here.
SS: WTF! THEY ARE!
-4 Compys surround him-
SS: Whos first?
-A compy steps-
Compy: Me.
SS: Very well.
-SS spin kicks Compy, sending it flying over the forest, out of sight.
Compy: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
SS: Next!
-Another compy steps up-
-SS trips compy up before picking it up and throwing it above him. SS uses his tail to bat it away.(Godzilla referance)
-Other two Compies run away-
SS: Shame, I wanted to fight Compy Grand-Master Hotoro.
When you want it the most there's no easy way out
When you're ready to go and your heart's left in doubt
Don't give up on your faith
Love comes to those who believe it
And that's the way it is
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Postby Stallordasaurus Rex » Fri Aug 24, 2007 5:34 pm

*Dragon Ball Z crossed with JP :P*

Shadow: *has a scouter on* This planet is MINE! :twisted:

Claws: *Goku's outfit* Stop right there, Shadow!

Shadow: ...Claws...you look like crap...

Claws: How dare you! KAIO KEN!(or however you spell it) *beats the **** outta Shadow*

Shadow: HAHAHA, you'll have to do better then that! GALICK GUN! *blasts Claws into a large rock* Give up?
*After hours of fighting....*

Claws: *on the ground* Its been fun Shadow...*teleports into the sky*

Shadow: Your still alive?!

Claws: *smirks* SPIRIT BOMB!!!!!! *the spirit bomb exsplodes directly on Shadow*

Shadow: *darth vader voice* NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!
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Postby Hopeflower » Sat Aug 25, 2007 11:33 am

Steeltalon is on a tall rock, by herself far from the underground caves. Little does she know, she's being watched...

"Why me," Steeltalon sighed. A pair of amber eyes widened as they watched the female on the rock, well-hidden in the shadows. "She speaks," a voice whispered. "Oh, speak again bright angel." Steeltalon shifted slightly on the rock, murmuring, "Oh Romeo, Romeo...where for art thou, Romeo? Deny thy father, and refuse thy name. Or if thou wilt not, be but sworn my love and I'll no longer be a Capulet." The creature watching her whispered, "Shall I hear more or shall I speak at this?" It nearly missed the beginning of Steeltalon's next words. "Tis but thy name that is my enemy," Steeltalon sighed. "Thou art thyself, and not a Montaguello." She laughed softly and went on, "What is Montaguello? It is not hand, nor foot, nor arm, nor face...nor any other part of the man. Oh, be some other name. What's in a name? That which you call a rose...by any other name it smells sweet. So Romeo would, were he not Romeo Corlunt, retain that dear perfection which he owns without that title. Romeo doth thy name. And for that name which is no part of thee take all myself." Steeltalon flipped onto her back and sighed. The creature shivered and leapt out of the shadows. "I'll taketh thy word!" he cried, making Steeltalon yelp in surprise and flip back onto her feet.

(I don't want to bore you all...lmao. So I'll just end it now. -_-' I've been watching a lot of Romeo and Juliet lately.)
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"Talent is a pursued interest. In other words, anything that you're willing to practice, you can do." ~ Bob Ross

"The future is always uncertain and painful but it must be lived." ~ Unknown
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Postby Pyronychus » Tue Aug 28, 2007 1:35 am

It's a quiet, peaceful day at the clearing... not a sound to be heard from anything...

Switchy: "Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring, Banana Phone. Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring. Banana Phone!"
Storm: "I've got this feeling, so apealing, for us to get together and sing..."
Both: "SING"
Thorn: "Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring, Banana Phone."
Thorn and Blade in turn: "Ding dong ding dong ding dong ding, Donana Phone!"
Steeltalon: "It grows in bunches, I've got my hunches."
Darkness: "It's the best. Beats the rest!"
Both: "Cellular, modular, interactivodular!"
Switchy, Storm, Thorn, Blade: "Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring, Banana Phone."
Steely and Darky: "Ping pong ping pong ping pong ping, Ponana Phone!"
Switchy and Storm: "It's no bologna, it aint a phoney."
Thorn, Blade, Switchy, Storm, Darky and Steely: "My cellular, bananular phone!"
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Postby Iceking » Tue Aug 28, 2007 1:46 am

red eye is walking about, carrying a flamethrower.

red eye:i will now use my flamethrower and no one will stop me! hahahahahahahaha!

*red eye starts torching trees with flame thrower.

red eye:hahahahahaha!

*red eye burns down the jungle except for two miles close to the labs.*

reaper:hey, where did you get that flamethrower?

red eye:i found it near the body of a human.

reaper:i'm going to go look for some grenades.
*reaper finds a box of grenades near a human camp, throws one to the humans and watches them explode.*
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Postby C S » Tue Aug 28, 2007 1:54 am

Loneclaw walked into a clearing, wearing an army green black sheckered squared hat. "Cats....today....we meet the dogs in war...and probably get slaughtered....1,000 may descend upon you....but we....are CATS! togther... WE CAN DESTROY THE DOG MENACE!!!!! Wewill regain our place as man's best friend....AND RESTORE ORDER! PEACE! PROSPERITY TO THE UNIVERSE!!!!! When we meet the dogs...we fight with all our might. WE ARE WARRIORS!!!!!!! We will fight to our deaths! This...I swear...THIS...IS....WAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


JOIN ME NOW!!!!!!!!"

He raises a spear he finds on the floor and looks out to the trees where an addiance is supposed to be. Snowclaw waves his right paw. "Snowclaw..where is every one?"

Snowclaw yells in responce "Well....they didnt want to get slaughtered, they think your crazy...and you and me are the only ones actually willing to fight over a can of tuna..."

"THAT WAS LONECLAWS LUNCH!"
Loneclaw yelled. 'DAMMIT! JUST FIGHT THEN!!!"

the story of 2 hun-

Just...... 2.....


After 1 second of battle...

Loneclaw and Snowclaw lay on the floor, bleeding..

"well....atleast you came..." Loneclaw whispers in his last breath
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Postby Doc 42 » Tue Aug 28, 2007 2:18 am

A peacefull day at the clearing....
*Sandy walks in with no arms, bleeding on the grass*
Sandy: "ARAHHRHG SOFTFOOT BIT OFF MY ARMS!!!"
*crickets chirp*
Steely: "uh huh"
*Darky falls out of tree with no tail, bleeding all over Storm and thorn*
Darky:"OMFG GIGUS AMBUSHED ME AND CLAWED MY TAIL OFF THIS HURTS SO MUCH!!!"
Thorn: OMG MAN........ IM COVERED IN BLOOD *goes over to stream to wash off*
*crickets continue to chirp, only other sound is Darky and Sandys blood begining to make a pool in the grass*
Darky and Sandy: -_-' OUR LIVES SUCK *darky and Sandy start cutting themselves*
*silence*
Switchy: the hatchlings! Shadow leaf! its too much! *sits down glumly*
Everyone: Awww switchblade cheer up its not that bad! *everyone crowds around trying to help her.

Sandy: "Wanna go fight some pachys?"
Darky: "sure"
Last edited by Doc 42 on Tue Sep 18, 2007 7:30 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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